i did what i wanted to do honestly, what is a woman besides someone who holds the world? large palms, steady feet, a world within. i did what i wanted to do. this is what i will breathe, in my last breath. but also, i will know that i lost everything after it was all gained. they grow up. ther

Dear Solo, Now you are eight. Let me just say that if I had known that the person who was the wildest baby/toddler of the family would become the most sensible one day… well, I wouldn’t have done anything different, because I’ve enjoyed you in all your different forms. Even walking the coconut gro

Well, May has taken me by surprise. I forgot how busy I always am, and how much emotional space is taken up by my life in my family and community. It leaves me breathless. I am sinking in, settling and staying and remaining in it all.  This morning the world feels full of possibility. It r

It is getting colder and the forecast says we will have a low of 8˚ C. That’s cold for us, riding our motorbikes in the morning, making food in our outdoor kitchen, wind coming in our uninsulated wooden house with no heat. I’m excited. I’ll work more on my ripple blanket, light candles, hold my cold

i dreamed of you, India, your insistent temple bells anklets and saris draping, falling, circling, weaving you in constant motion i dreamed of your gullies a candle on a doorstep red string tied on a dark wrist i dreamed of you and i was  invisible and lucid the dhaba, the chai wallah, J

Kenya is watching the birds and I am watching Kenya. She sits on the porch railing with a cup of tea, watching the sun rise, and she is lovelier and more colorful to me than any bird, though I love watching them too. Her eyes follow a tumble of feathers as two birds quarrel and peck, flying through

The other day, Leafy was sitting with me at the table. This boy. Do you have someone in your life who finds you at any time of the day to tell you seemingly random bits of information about anything under the sun? I do. Artificial intelligence, dinosaurs, superheroes, video games, scientific facts a

I am okay again. Yesterday was bright and beautiful. I spent three days in the fog, and everything looked terrifying, but I rested, and I climbed out and came back. I used the words mental illness because they were being tossed around in the wake of last week's tragedy. I find it hard when those wo

When I wake up in the mornings to write, the couple across the street are awake also. They make jok, breakfast rice porridge, and sell it on the side of another street, from a cart. So every morning they put all the tables and stools, pots and food, in their sidecar, drive them over, and then push t

Hi friends, I’ve been writing newsletters and Instagram posts about my new course, Writing from the Heart, for the last week, and it has just occurred to me that despite all the places I’ve written, I didn’t include this blog! What???

I got back a couple nights ago from a mini writing retreat of my own making. I needed to go to the nearby big city for routine tasks at immigration and thought, well, while I’m there, why don’t I stay an extra day, huddle in a hotel room, and write. So I did. It’s a luxury of living here, since hote

Lately there is an occasional person who asks me how I’m handling all my freedom now that my kids are at school. And I laugh and laugh, because I am still homeschooling three kids. Which is only a small amount of kids to homeschool if you have been teaching more than three. I’ve been doing this four

Everything seems beautiful to me lately. The hazy edges of the mountains, the way the color is bleached out of the landscape. The gentle browns and lilac at the edges of the day. The orange sun, bright as a marigold in the late afternoon, just before it drops behind the mountains. My neighbors, our

On Sunday I made community lunch, but first I had to shop. I bought 10 kgs of mountain rice, eight cabbages, a whole bunch of vegetables, and toor dal (to make sambar.) I need coconut, so after I bought everything else, I drove over to the coconut shop to pick up some fresh grated coconut. Leaf tol

:: part 3 :: All of this leads to relationship. Relationship to the world around you and to the people in it, a way to live a sacred life that dignifies and sees others. But there is an order to all of this. There are the secret things. There are the things you share, the stories you tell. There are the things you try to say but can never quite communicate.

You are seventeen. It seems unreal. I love how you are learning to inhabit your life, with all its complexities. I love your play, your wisdom, your strength, and your sensitivity. I love the way you are with your brothers, the way you love them and test them. You are finding the best ways to fi

I am ready for a new year. Ready for new things to come. In the last months I have broken many of my own rules about getting enough sleep and exercise, enough rest, and taking each day as it comes, and am feeling the effects come back to me in self-loathing and poor mental health, so a clea

The personal blog of Rachel Devenish Ford, Journey Mama, author, mother, and traveler

It has been two years since you died because of stupid leukemia. And I know you are alive somewhere in some amazing existence, possibly storming through the universe, involved in shenanigans on a cosmic level. But we miss you.  Christy and the girls came to live in Pai, did you know that?

Something unexpected has happened lately, which is that Kai has started reading my Journey Mama books. And rather than having the response that I might have imagined he would have, which is maybe a kind of teenaged embarrassment, he is riveted by stories of his life and his sibings’ lives. He loves