That feeling of urgency or desperation when you’re at the end of your tether and sick to death of whatever it is, is a sign for you to stop running around like a headless chicken trying to find the magic tool or technique to fix yourself. At the end of this post, I’ll share a tapping script which you can customise, about feeling safe enough to stop fleeing, fighting and freezing when an issue comes up. Trauma can cause chronic issues, and chronic issues, in turn, can cause trauma; or retraumatisation to be more precise. It’s a vicious cycle that we need to break to save our sanity and health. Unresolved chronic issues can leave us feeling helpless, hopeless and full of fear and despair that things will never change. An awful place to be. The fear that nothing will ever change and you’ll be stuck like this forever is very frightening and of course feeds our urgency and desperation to be rid of the issue. When things come up over and over again, or something hasn’t been resolved, it can often be a part of us wanting/needing to complete something that was left uncompleted or fulfill a need that remained/remains unmet; another sort of incomplete action. The incompleteness is like emotional, mental and physical indigestion, we can’t fully take whatever is hard to digest in and we can’t eliminate it either. So, we get stuck, it’s half in, half out and this gives rise to the symptoms of undischarged traumatic stress, of which there are many. This is why psychiatrist Ivor Browne calls trauma: unexperienced experience. (Not to be confused with a traumatic experience, which may or may not cause trauma, depending on whether we have the resources and support to cope with whatever has overwhelmed our coping mechanisms). Here is a selection of set up statements that you can try and insert your own words where you like. You can find the tapping diagram here. Even though it’s not safe to stop (trying … etc), I completely accept how I feel Even though stopping feels like giving up, I completely accept how I feel about this Even though giving up feels ... I accept how I feel Even though I can’t allow this … to be here, it might stay forever if I allowed it even 10 minutes and that would make me feel … I completely accept those feelings Even though I feel desperate to be rid of this … I completely accept my desperation Even though I’m at my wits end and can’t stop fighting (fleeing from, freezing/shutting down from) this … I accept how I feel Even though I’m afraid of this issue, I completely accept my fear Even though this issue makes me feel helpless, I accept myself anyway Even though this … feels like a … (monster, black hole etc), I am okay Top of head: This desperation Eyebrow: About … Side of eye: It reminds me of … Under eye: That feels … Under nose: It’s not safe to stop fighting Under chin: I have to fight this (run away from, shut down etc) … Collar bone: Or else … Under the arm: This issue has me on my knees Top of the head: I feel such an urgency to be rid of it Eyebrow: I’m going to keep on trying to get rid of it Side of eye: I’ve no other choice Under eye: Because … Under nose: And that feels … Under chin: Maybe there’s another way Collar bone: A kinder gentler way Under the arm: For me Top of the head: Something less exhausting Eyebrow: That gives me hope Side of eye: I need a sign Under eye: I need guidance Under the nose: That I’m on the right track Under chin: How will I recognise it? Collar bone: I’ll know Under the arm: I always know when it comes down to it Top of head: I sometimes don’t trust that knowing Eyebrow: And that has hurt me Side of eye: So I’ll trust myself Under eye: And the parts that are showing up Under the nose: With symptoms Under the chin: To be heard Collar bone: And held Under the arm: That feels … Top of head: When I see it like that Eyebrow: It’s easier to have compassion Side of eye: I can contemplate laying down my arms Under eye: I can come closer Under nose: To my pain Under chin: And feel (some of it etc) Collar bone: I can take it slowly and gently Under the arm: There’s no urgency any more