Contrary to popular belief, most people (extrovert, introverts, sensors, intuitives) don't really like small talk that much. I don't think anyone's heart skips a beat with talk about the next rainfall or how hot the sun has been shining (unless, perhaps, you're a farmer or gardening expert). Different topics of conversation are naturally going to
Discover what each of the 16 Myers-Briggs personality types are like when they are evil, extremely unhealthy, and out of control.
INTJ: You’re single because: You over-analyze social interactions to the point where it seems easier to just avoid them altogether.
1. All-or-nothing syndrome
With Valentine’s day just around the corner, now may be a great time to confess your undying love for someone you’re with or want to be with. Valentine’s Day is especially good for people who want to confront their crush. Here is a look at what each Myers-Briggs type is likely to do when they are crazy in love with someone.
In recent years, the concept of narcissism has become increasingly well known. It’s not unusual to hear characters in popular culture such as movies, novels, and TV shows described as narcissists. While narcissism is actually a normal personality trait, for some people it can become exaggerated which then can become destructive. For others, it is...
In any romantic or pair bond relationship, there are myriad ways that a couple communicates to each other. Words, actions, expressions, mannerisms… we’re looking for and sending endless signals to and from our mate. And while there are a million things each person says (both verbally and non-verbally) every day, it could be argued that there really is only one thing we’re actually looking for: the answer to the question, “Do you love me?” According to Gary Chapman’s “The 5 Love Languages” we all express love a little differently. In Chapman’s model, the 5 primary ways are: Acts of Service Quality Time Gift Giving Words of Affirmation Physical Touch (For a quick reference listen to the Personality Hacker podcast “The 5 Love Languages.” For more in-depth information, read Chapman’s book of the same title. It’s a great read – we highly recommend it.) These are five very important modalities of communicating love, and knowing which one you and your mate favor can make or break the relationship. That said, while we communicate love in different ways, we are also looking for very specific markers that transcend the form of communication – we’re looking for specific criteria which means love to different types. For example, we might have a “Words of Affirmation” Love Language and we’ll always feel good when someone praises us. But what are they praising us for? Does it match our internal ‘list’ of important things? For example, one woman might be over to moon to hear her husband praise her beauty to his friends, and another woman might feel marginalized. How “Evaluation” Becomes “Love” In our program Couples Mapping we discuss how different personality types both ask the question, “Do you love me?” and how they answer it, “Yes! I do love you!” Here’s where it gets tricky: each personality type asks it in a slightly different way, and concurrently answers it in a slightly different way. A quick refresher on how the 16 Myers-Briggs personality types correlate to their 'decision-making' mental processes: All FJs use the mental process called Extraverted Feeling, or “Harmony” to make decisions. (ESFJ, ISFJ, ENFJ, INFJ) All FPs use the mental process called Introverted Feeling, or “Authenticity” to make decisions. (ESFP, ISFP, ENFP, INFP) All TJs use the mental process called Extraverted Thinking, or “Effectiveness” to make decisions. (ESTJ, ISTJ, ENTJ, INTJ) All TPs use the mental process called Introverted Thinking, or “Accuracy” to make decisions. (ESTP, ISTP, ENTP, INTP) The “decision-making” mental processes (Harmony, Authenticity, Effectiveness, Accuracy) are ways we evaluate the world and determine their rightfulness, truthfulness and importance to us as people.Every personality type has a tendency to overvalue their criteria, and unless you understand the concept of different types it’s very easy to assume others are using the same criteria to make evaluations and decisions. That is, if you’re an Effectiveness person it may be very difficult to understand another person who is using, say, Accuracy. When they come to a conclusion that favors conceptual analysis over what works, the assumption is that person is being short-sighted, and somewhat stupid. Since we all do this (to some extent), in a romantic relationship this can be disastrous. On some level we ‘get’ that other people see the world differently than we do, but without a solid model these differences end up becoming gender stereotypes. “Women just want men to listen to them and not solve problems,” or “Men just want to be alone in their ‘man cave’ when they have problems.” Since there is definitely a gender skew in personality types, these stereotypes play out often enough that we take them for granted. Real trouble surfaces when we’re a personality type not common to our gender but we’re still expected to play out the normal ‘script’. When our mate can’t ‘read’ or ‘predict’ us (or vice versa!) it can become a serious issue. It’s a frustrating exercise trying to communicate love (and look for markers of love from your mate) only to watch the attempts fall flat. In most things to ‘fail again, fail better’ is a noble pursuit, but in love if we believe the answer to our question “Do you love me?” is “No” or “I’m not sure” too often, you can do real damage to your own heart and your mate’s. Knowing your own decision-making process and your lover’s is a much easier way of being able to say clearly, “When I look for love, this is what I’m looking at.” How “Harmony” asks “Do you love me?”Myers-Briggs types: ENFJ, INFJ, ESFJ, ISFJ Do you feel connected to me? Will you check in and make sure I’m okay? Will you acknowledge and take care of my needs? Am I safe with you? Do you accept and approve of me? How “Harmony” answers: “Yes! I love you!” I will meet your needs before I meet my own. I will check in regularly and make sure you’re okay. I will do my best to keep morale up. I will show you appreciation in whatever way I’d like to be shown appreciation. How it can be misinterpreted by other types: Smothering, intrusive. How “Authenticity” asks, “Do you love me?”Myers-Briggs types: ENFP, INFP, ESFP, ISFP Do you think I’m being real with you? Do you trust my motives and my intent? Will you support me no matter what – do you have my back? Will you give me space to be “me?” How “Authenticity” answers, “Yes! I love you!” I will be patient with your honest expressions. I will honor your feelings and identity, even if it’s a struggle for both of us. I will hold space for you, and give you alone time when you need it. I will have your back no matter what the fight is. I will trust you have my best interests at heart. How it can be misinterpreted by other types: Passive, self-absorbed How “Effectiveness” asks, “Do you love me?”Myers-Briggs types: ENTJ, INTJ, ESTJ, ISTJ Will you handle things – can I rely on you? Will you make my life easier, can I relax knowing you’re “on it?” Will you support my career and/or goals and be self-sufficient? Are you loyal? How “Effectiveness” answers, “Yes! I love you!” I will be endlessly loyal on principle. I will educate myself on you and learn how you operate. I will take pride in you, boasting about your accomplishments even before my own. I will protect you. I chose you. I continue to choose you. Case closed. How it can be misinterpreted by other types: Controlling, distant, “unromantic” How “Accuracy” asks, “Do you Love Me?”Myers-Briggs types: ENTP, INTP, ESTP, ISTP Do you think I’m totally competent? Are you impressed with my performance? Do you trust that I’m not lying to you or B.S.’ing you in any way? Does it make sense that you love me? That you stay with me? How “Accuracy” answers, “Yes! I love you!” I will be rigorously honest with you. If I have a ‘wandering eye’ I will tell you, and provide a solution. I will gift you with my precision. I will learn you and give high performance at all levels. I will protect you from others, but not from yourself. I will never judge you. Instead, I will be there for you when things go bad, no matter why they went bad. How it can be misinterpreted by other types: Harsh, insensitive, cold Did this resonate with you and what you know of your type? Were you able to spot your lover’s decision-making criteria, and how can it help you communicate to them that you love them in a way that’s meaningful to them? Let us know! Leave a comment and share your experience. -Antonia Interested in gaining deep insight into how you and your lover operate within your relationship? Want to get to the next level of intimacy on a deep, cognitive level? This article is just a taste of our full course “Couples Mapping: Personality Types in Marriage & Relationships.
By Dr. A.J. Drenth The ENFP personality type is quirky, curious, creative, and idealistic. As one of the most open-minded types, ENFPs bring an experimental…
With Valentine’s day just around the corner, now may be a great time to confess your undying love for someone you’re with or want to be with. Valentine’s Day is especially good for people who want to confront their crush. Here is a look at what each Myers-Briggs type is likely to do when they are crazy in love with someone.
From intense emotions to unstable relationships, explore the 4 types of borderline personality disorder, each with its unique characteristics and challenges.
These Microsoft Excel formulas can boost your spreadsheet productivity and make things a bit more fun.
Take our free personality test to discover your unique temperament type. Get incredibly accurate results! No registration required. It takes only 3 minutes!
Have you ever wondered if your personality type has any part to play in your values? What driving forces motivate you and are central to who you are as a person? In this article, I'm going to look at some of the central values and ideals of each personality type. This can be a good
As an INFJ, I often think my personality is split into two. 8 Paradoxes of An INFJ Personality Type That Makes Them The Most Misunderstood People On Earth
Here’s How You Handle Suppressed Emotions, Based on Your Personality Type While some people dislike expressing their emotions, it is necessary for everyone sometimes. Here is how you handle your own suppressed emotions, based on your personality type. INFJ INFJs can sometimes suppress their emotions, since they don’t want to burden anyone with their feelings. […]
The ISFJ is a dependable, caring, practical introvert. An ISFJ will want everyone to show up for the holidays fully prepared to carry out their roles.
We all display love a little differently.
ENTJs are the determined 'executives' of the personality community. These visionary go-getters have a reputation for being blunt, confident, and natural-born leaders. In this article, I'll detail 10 traits that most ENTJs will strongly identify with. Not sure what your personality type is? Take our new personality questionnaire here. Or you can take the official
With Valentine’s day just around the corner, now may be a great time to confess your undying love for someone you’re with or want to be with. Valentine’s Day is especially good for people who want to confront their crush. Here is a look at what each Myers-Briggs type is likely to do when they are crazy in love with someone.
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We are continuing our series on the 3 mistakes each type makes in relationships. In this article, we explore ENFJ relationship mistakes and solutions.
I made a Care Bears version of the Myers Briggs personality types since there were other cute ones floating about! You can take the test here to see what type you are.
With Valentine’s day just around the corner, now may be a great time to confess your undying love for someone you’re with or want to be with. Valentine’s Day is especially good for people who want to confront their crush. Here is a look at what each Myers-Briggs type is likely to do when they are crazy in love with someone.
Plus, the most dangerous type in relationships.
INFJ children are a rare and unusual breed. They make up less than 1% of the US population, and often report having felt 'odd', 'misunderstood', or ostracized as children. That's why I think it's especially important to have a grasp of what it feels like being in an INFJ child's mind. If we can take
ISFPs are (unfortunately) one of the least discussed Myers-Briggs® personality types. They make up 6% of the U.S. population and are known for their practicality, passion, and creativity. They're quite an intriguing group of people and if you're one of them, chances are you'll relate to most of these 10 ISFP qualities. Not sure what
Every individual has a unique way that they experience and respond to stress based on their personality type. For ENFPs, a lot of stressors result from having to do activities and tasks that don't line up with their preferences. For example, as intuitive-dominant types, they can become stressed when they have to focus on highly
Need some answers to the question how to describe a crazy person in a story? Check out this post!
