Christian Gentle Parenting is a popular parenting strategy, that incorporates God's love and patience into parenting and teaches children to love God.
Frustrated when your child disobeys on purpose or pushes your buttons? Learn how to discipline a toddler who doesn’t listen or ignores you.
Parenting teaches us so much. For example, parenting can fall under a Law-filled parenting style or a Grace-filled parenting style. In this article, we'll contrast these two styles as well as consider the parenting style
Learn the fundamentals of gentle parenting and how you can apply responsive and ethical parenting techniques for happy, confident children.
Parenting strategies to help you discipline your child without bruising their heart. Discover how to look beyond the behaviour and work WITH your children.
It’s the age old question, isn’t it? How do we discipline our children effectively? In this article, I share 3 foundational discipline strategies that have transformed thousands of families and they can help yours too. Start seeing changes in your family today!
Anger is a cowardly emotion. It only comes out when it believes it is safe to play. And unfortunately, this means behind the private walls of my home, my kids become easy targets of my anger. I see the cowardliness of anger every time I’m fuming over something my kids are doing—and then the phone rings. Suddenly, without a […]
These 4 parenting styles will help you learn how to get your children to obey and learn what you should do when they won't.
No one wants a spoiled child who doesn't listen. But research and child experts say punishment doesn't work. Here is what you can do instead.
The foundation of positive parenting rests on five principles: attachment, respect, proactive parenting, empathetic leadership, and positive discipline. These five principles go hand in hand to both build a strong bond and to position you
How to get on the same page as your co-parent. And, what to do if you cannot come to an agreement about parenting strategies.
How to know when your toddler's behavior is a problem. Children need structure and boundaries in order to keep them safe from danger.
Talking to my kids frequently is not over parenting. They will become adults by assuming responsibility for their lives, not curtailing contact with me.
Disciplining a toddler in public is tricky and downright embarrassing. In today's video, I offer tips on how to discipline a toddler in a public setting.
Whether you're pushing your college-bound kid reluctantly out of the nest or doing so with gusto, you'll both feel much better about the transition if you've prepped them to handle small yet significant parts of the real world. There are so many things every grown-up child must eventually learn how to do — like cooking a decent meal, for starters. Sure, you can try to walk them through it on the phone once they're out of the house, but why not get the ball rolling now? That way you can spend that precious phone time chatting about the stuff you...
No one wants a spoiled child who doesn't listen. But research and child experts say punishment doesn't work. Here is what you can do instead.
Anger seems to be a common struggle among moms. There will always be triggers that make us angry, it's what we do with our anger that matters. I think we often forget we are parenting children, not adults and raising people who are born into sin and prone to it, just like we are. This is
Did you know that older dishwashers need to be disassembled and cleaned biannually? Now, I don't know about newer models-I don't have one-but if you have never cleaned your dishwasher, it may be time to roll up your sleeves and get to work. Over the last several weeks I started noticing that my dishes were not getting clean in my dishwasher. Even pre-rinsed glasses sand bowls were coming out with a sandy grit plastered to the inside. As much as I have been pining for a new dishwasher (I have a beautiful, energy efficient black model in mind), we simply cannot afford to buy a new appliance right now if we don't absolutely need it. So, I got to work. I disassembled the sprayer parts and soaked them in a sink half-full of water and vinegar. After scrubbing the parts and dishwasher bottom with steel wool and an old toothbrush, I put everything back together and ran a cleaning cycle using the hottest water I could and 2 cups of vinegar. Once the cycle was about half-way through, stopped the cycle and wiped out the bottom with a clean rag. My dishwasher went from this: to this: If you haven't guessed, your homemaking challenge is to clean that dishwasher, and while you have your vinegar out, soak and scrub your glasses and silverware as well. The glass on the left is cloudy and full of water spots. The glass on the right has been soak in vinegar and water and lightly scrubbed with steel wool. It looks just like new! My silverware was dull and dingy looking. I soaked them in vinegar-water, lightly scrubbed them with steel wool and now... They are shiny and bright. Beautiful! Going forward, add cleaning your silverware, glasses and yes. your dishwasher to your fall and spring cleaning lists. I have written a detailed guide with lots of pictures about cleaning your dishwasher at http://modernhousewife.hubpages.com/hub/Dishes-Not-Getting-Clean-Clean-Your-Dishwasher Happy Homemaking! Sarah
Parenting and discipline go together hand in hand. As parents, we must guide our children towards respectful behaviors and interactions with others. But boy is it tough! Creating a balance so that our children feel close to us, but also follow rules and respect boundaries is tricky. The Montessori philosophy offers a wonderful way to … Continue reading "Montessori Discipline At Home"
Here are 20 of the most commonly used Bible verses by parents when it comes to correcting their children.
"Take their phone away. Take the video games away. Ground them. Make them get a job," the high school Spanish teacher said.
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For many moms, cleaning is just one more task that has to get done each day. And the goal is to get it done as fast as humanly possible. Do you walk around loathing this duty? Here's a gentle reminder that our daily chores and house upkeep are an act of love and service.
What are the best neurodivergent parenting tips you’ve ever received? Here are 14 inspiring pieces of advice and wisdom from ADHD families.
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Discipline vs. Punishment When a child misbehaves, many parents believe they should punish their child for the misbehavior. The goal of punishing a child is simply to make the unacceptable behavior unpleasant enough that child stops the misbehavior (and doesn’t do it again). For many parents, that’s the only goal: they want their kids to
As we approached two with our first kiddo, I started waiting anxiously for "the terrible twos" to set in Everyone said it was coming, and according to them, our sweet chill baby was about to
Read about a powerful and effective positive parenting strategy called Time-In. It can be used at any time, in any place, as an alternative to Time-Out.
This mom says her son doesn't have to share, and surprisingly, her argument makes a LOT of sense.
I can’t handle how grown up he looks! He literally breaks my heart I love him so much! I have…
Recently I was asked to speak to a group of mothers on discipline. Below is my transcript from that event. As I say below, If you have struggled with finding joy in motherhood and parenting, weary with knowing how to discipline, listen to my journey and see if it can be an encouragement to you. Hi, my name is Heidi Cooper and I have been married for 18 years to my husband, Tony. We have three kids: Evan-who is 12, Addie-who is 8, and Isaiah-who is 5. I always wanted to be a mom. My mom did an excellent job showing me the importance of motherhood. I went off to college with the intent of finding a good husband and then starting a family and staying home to be a mom. Pre-motherhood is full of big dreams and great intentions, your kids are going to become great missionaries who save the lost people of Africa and you have weekly games constructed to prepare them for life in the bush (or whatever your dream may be). But even the best prepared mom quickly realizes a few short weeks into motherhood that the days are longer and harder than you anticipated. Soon those long days with the struggles of doubt of raising a newborn, gradually become seeds of impatience with a learning toddler who thinks everything belongs to her and should be available to her at all times, which grows into frustration towards a messy preschooler who resembles a small indoor tornado leaving a mile-wide path of destruction wherever he roams, and next thing you know, yelling empty threats is becoming a part of your daily schedule to your disobedient 9 year old who has developed a keen sense of knowing what and whose buttons to push at the perfect time. You know theoretically that you are the one who is suppose be in charge around here so you hastily bark out something, anything to get their attention. Stop yelling at your brother! Why can’t you remember something as simple as flushing the toilet? Is it so hard to put the shoes 1 foot farther to the right so they are actually in the closet? Do you know how hard I worked to get us ready for this vacation and all you can do is fight with your sister? Now get in the car, we are going to go have fun as a family! You know what is spewing out of your mouth is wrong, but at the same time you do not even care because you feel the need to release your venom! Does any of this sound familiar to you? Certainly not the description of the Proverbs 31 woman! Well, I have good news and I have bad news for you. The good news…you are not alone! Don’t believe everything you see on Pinterest and Facebook. Not all mothering moments are instagram worthy! The bad news… kids copy what they see modeled for them, so it’s probably your own fault. At least that’s what the Lord showed me. If you have struggled with finding joy in motherhood and parenting, weary with knowing how to discipline, listen to my journey and see if it can be an encouragement to you. Three years ago, God began to move our family in a new direction. He moved us from sending the kids to a private Christian school to homeschooling. This meant having them home, all day, all year, and being responsible for their entire education. At the same time, we felt Him leading my husband to quit his full-time computer programming job and go to seminary full time. This added the challenge of no money and less dad time. My shortcomings surfaced real quickly. And I was fairly certain we were going to all hate each other by Thanksgiving. You’ve heard the saying “Be sure your sin will find you out?” Well, you can also be sure your kids will be the ones to bring them out and point them out! And now with them home all day they had plenty of opportunity! I knew this new season of life was going to be a time of sanctification for me. And God used the task of disciplining my kids as the main tool of reform. Colossians 3:16 says, Let the word of Christ dwell in you richly, teaching and admonishing one another in all wisdom, singing psalms and hymns and spiritual songs, with thankfulness in your hearts to God. Well, the word of Christ was dwelling in me sometimes, and I was most certainly not singing psalms, hymns, or spiritual songs in my disciplining moments. I had the admonishment part down, except that it was not in wisdom or with thankfulness in my heart. It was with sarcasm and anger. God was revealing to me some sin in my life in regards to mothering. I was being selfish, discontent, impatient, angry. I was not using self-control, basically the opposite of all of the fruit of the spirit. What struck me hardest was realizing what example I was being to my kids, especially my daughter. Was the way I was parenting encouraging Addie to one day want to be a mom the way my mom did to me? Would she know that God created motherhood to be a joy and not a burden? I knew He had, but joy would not be the word I would have chosen to describe motherhood so far. Weary was more like what I was feeling. God showed me that places where I would get frustrated are a good place to start changing. Why was I getting angry when the kids were disobedient? Why did my heart seek revenge in discipline? I realized my sin came from the attitude of "you have gone against MY rules and here's what I have to say about it!" when it should have been "you have gone against God's rules and let's see what He has to say about it." I had been deceived. I had misunderstood the repetition of daily pulling weeds of sin in my kid’s life as well as in my own life. I was seeing it as failure instead of basic Christian living-a means of grace to teach us to become Christ-like. Repetition is how we learn. It gives us another chance to improve. It helps us master what we are learning. Paul says in Philippians 4, “for I have learned to be content whatever the circumstances. I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation.” Paul learned contentment through repetition. God repeatedly put him in different situations so that he could master contentment. It didn’t mean failure. It meant sanctification. It meant learning to rely on Christ, because he continues in verse 13 with, ”I can do all this through Christ who gives me strength.“ Sin like old habits die hard. I needed a plan. I wanted the Bible to guide my disciplining, but I needed a cheat sheet to know where to find the right scripture to help me when my patience was thin. I also wanted an idea for a consequence that fit the crime as a prompt to guide my disciplinary action so I wouldn’t blurt out empty threats like “No more electronics for a month!” or “If I step on another Lego, I’m going to throw them all away!” Tony and I spent a weekend working this out and I came up with a discipline chart. I had it printed and it is posted in our kitchen. We spent several meal times going over it with the kids so we were all clear on what was expected, and what they could expect if they disobeyed. The chart has 3 columns-Behavior, What God Says, and Consequences. I came up with a list of the most common “offenses” such as Arguing/Causing Trouble, Abusing other’s property, foolish talk, etc... and then looked up several Bible verses for each sin. I printed out the full scripture of my favorite verse that I felt described best how God says we should act in each situation, and then listed several others as references that we could look up if we needed to add variety. The third column is a list of consequences. This is mainly an idea listed of how I could handle the punishment. We quite often add or subtract from the listed consequence based on the situation and the child involved. Some of my children feel more sorrow from electronics time taken away than a spanking, and another child of mine will come and confess on her own her wrongdoing even though I would have never found out and a look of disappointment from me will cause tears of sorrow. So, for example: Complaining/Whining- Philippians 2:14-Do all things without grumbling or questioning. Psalm 19:14-Let the words of my mouth and the meditation of my heart be acceptable in your sight, O LORD, my rock and my redeemer. Ephesians 4:29 The consequence idea listed is additional work or do not receive what was whined for. As we began implementing the chart I soon saw that as I would speak truth to my kids about being impatient, God would speak truth to me about my impatience. As I would read verses about laziness to my child, God would shine a light on my own laziness. I must say, when we are consistent with using our chart for times of discipline, mothering is more joyful. My admonishing was coming from wisdom, not anger. And it was also turning into a sweet time of teaching them about God. God was changing me and my kids. To take the time and think about how our actions were wrong and what God says about it in His Word and taking the time to give our kids the gospel and point them to Christ goes so much farther than "why can't you ever pick up your toys when I ask you to!" It has really helped to discipline my kids with the mindset of “I know that I am not worthy to be obeyed, I mess up just like you, but God is worthy to be obeyed and he has asked you as kids to obey your parents for it is right, and it will go well with you, so let’s look to God’s word and see what he has to say about …lying or arguing or whatever the situation may be.” I had also been deceived by the hard work of mothering. I was tired of dealing with the same things every day. The fatigue and repetition of the mundane were perceived as discouragement and hard. But God showed me that the valley days of motherhood doesn’t mean I lost my way. The times that the work is hard is where the change takes place. Opportunities to bless may be most present when we don’t feel like it. Just like exercising, the results are seen when it gets hard. If you give up every time the running gets hard and you don’t feel like running, you will never grow as a runner and will never see results. I always thought the passage in Hebrews about running with endurance was for missionaries or pastors. It says, “let us run with endurance the race that is set before us, looking to Jesus, the founder and perfecter of our faith, who for the joy that was set before him endured the cross.” But it’s not just for missionaries; it is for moms too! Our mission field is our kids. We are the ones teaching them daily about the gospel. It is hard to stop supper and go downstairs to correct wrong speech each time. It’s hard to function on 3hrs of sleep because you were up with a sick child. It’s hard to put down my crafts to play nail salon or help build a Lego helicopter. It’s hard to get out of your warm bed and stay up with a sleepless child. It’s hard to take the time to discipline with wisdom instead of yelling, “Everybody just stop it!” The days that the race set before us travels through a valley is where you learn to trust in Christ. But, what does it mean to trust in Christ? Christians say that all the time. Or,” just give it to Jesus.” That sounds great! I’d love to, but how do I give my whiny child to Jesus? Believe me there are days I would LOVE to give my children to Jesus! John Piper has helped me understand this concept with the acronym APTAT. A.P.T.A.T. stands for Admit, Pray, Trust, Act, and Thank. Let’s set up a scenario and run it through APTAT. It’s 5:00, that witching hour when everyone is hungry, you are trying to get supper going, and waiting for your husband to get home from work. Your 5 year old comes to you complaining that his brother kicked him! His brother responds with, “that’s because he was poking me while I was trying to play a game and was making me lose!” So, I take a deep breath and quickly run through APTAT in my head. A-Admit that you can’t do it. I tell God, I can’t do this right now. I am making supper and I want to just yell at them, but I know that isn’t right. P-Pray “God, help me! I need you!” T-Trust a specific promise like, “I can do all things through Christ who gives me strength.” Or “My God shall supply all your needs.” Or” If any of you lacks wisdom, let him ask God and He will give it to you.” Yes, that one sounds good for this, because I don’t have a clue what to say! This is where letting the word of Christ dwell on you richly comes in handy. You will know what promises are available to you! A-Act You act! You don’t want to take the time to discipline right now, but you slow down and do it knowing God will help you. So you gently ask the boys to come look at the chart with you and say, “Evan, was it right to kick your brother?” And he says, “no, but he kept poking me even after I asked him to stop twice!” ” Isaiah, was it right of you to poke Evan?” “NO, but he wouldn’t let me have a turn.” So it sounds like you two are causing trouble and fighting. Let’s see what the Bible says about that. We go over to the chart and read-Arguing/fighting/causing trouble 2 Timothy 2:24-25- And the Lord's servant must not be quarrelsome but kind to everyone, able to teach, patiently enduring evil, correcting his opponents with gentleness. You guys are the Lord’s servants and he says that you are not to quarrel, but be kind. Were you being kind to each other? And it says you are to patiently endure evil, correcting with gentleness. Evan, did you endure your brother’s evil and correct his wrong behavior with gentleness? “I asked him nice twice…” “It doesn’t say correct with gentleness twice and then try kicking!” “You guys are brothers. You are going to be brothers forever! Evan, Is it more important to have a good score on a game or to treat your brother with love? Isaiah, is it more important to have your turn on the game or wait patiently for Evan to be done? You two need to apologize to each other and your consequence for causing trouble is that you have both lost the rest of your electronics time for the day, and I want you together to come up with something to play in your room with each other until supper is ready. T-Thank God. Thank him for faithfully helping you again! Thank him for helping your child understand where they were wrong and for giving them a repentant spirit. Thank him for helping you discipline rightly and giving you words to correct wrong behavior with and giving you the strength to endure another squabble. This to me is what giving it to Jesus means. God has promised to bless those who hunger and thirst for righteousness. He says they will be satisfied! So go to Him. Humble yourself. Ask for His help. He promises to satisfy you. So mothers, Let us not grow weary in doing good; for in due season we will reap, if we do not give up. There is hope! Our kids do copy what they see us do. So let’s start modeling kind words and forgiveness and repentance and self-control. Let them see you asking God for help. And one day you will begin to notice that those piles of shoes thrown about the entryway that used to lead to anger is now first stirring up thoughts of thankfulness in your heart to God because it means you live in a home full of children you love. We will not be mothers of little children forever. They will grow. And move away. I want to know what it is to be content when I have plenty of children at home and when I have none. God is not training you for no reason. Practice. Practice. Practice. And then you will see that the Proverbs 31 woman won’t look so far off anymore. She opens her mouth with wisdom, and the teaching of kindness is on her tongue. 27 She looks well to the ways of her household and does not eat the bread of idleness. 28 Her children rise up and call her blessed; her husband also, and he praises her: If you think a Behavior Chart would be a useful tool to help you discipline your kids or grand kids consistently, they are available at https://www.etsy.com/listing/156526656/behavior-chart
Becoming an emotionally safe parent means not letting my anxiety or need to control send unintended messages to my child during discipline.
Let's just say that children do not do what we say, they do what we do. If you are not liking the behavior of your children, maybe it is time to take a look in the mirror.
Compassion first. Education next. The ringer is on. Because I want my teens to call when they need help.
Today we will look at 3 mistakes that can turn your child's heart from you, as we continue to look at the importance of keeping their hearts.
