In the whole big scheme of things, it doesn’t really matter who wins or loses the little daily battles, as long as it is somewhat equal.
The following was written by Carrian Cheney, who runs the popular cooking blog and brand "Oh, Sweet Basil" with her husband Cade.
Marriage has no place for put downs. Trust cannot be built on a bed of thorns.
It’s up to you whether or not the baggage from the first marriage will stay baggage, or be turned into life experience to make you both better people.
A few things that Mormons and the sitcom How I Met Your Mother have in common
In search to strengthen the bonds of my marriage, I found this article recently with a list of things that happily married couples do, and I found it very enlightening. It made me ponder and make a mental note of what gospel actions have had the biggest impact on my marriage so far. Every aspect of gospel living has had an impact on my marriage, but the three below are the one's that I feel have strengthened my marriage the most. 1. Family Prayers What benefits come from praying as a couple? I know, without a doubt in my mind, that as my husband and I kneel in prayer together, we are blessed. This is one action, when neglected, I am noticing has an impact on our marriage. I tend to be quicker to anger and we miscommunicate more often. As you pray as a couple, your individual relationship with God will strengthen and your relationship with your spouse will strengthen too. In the 'Marriage and Family Relations' Sunday School course, one lesson teaches how prayer strengthens a marriage. I love this thought, "You simply can't pray together and retain any but the best of feelings toward one another." It is so true! As my husband and I pray together, we have a happier marriage and fewer conflicts arise. For more from this lesson you can find it HERE. I suggest praying as a couple at least once a day. Whether that be in the morning or night, make it consistent. What better way to start your day together than by conversing with the Lord as a couple? By doing this consistently, you form a habit that can lead to a life-time full of family prayers and a strong marital relationship. I know that as you and your spouse pray together everyday, your marriage will be greatly enriched. Your home will be filled with peace and your relationship with your spouse will grow. 2. Family Home Evening “We don't have kids, should we still have Family Home Evening as a couple?” Yes, yes, yes, and yes. (For info on what FHE is click HERE). Family Home Evenings are meant for families, and are not you and your spouse a family now? Kyle and I are continually trying, though not successfully each week, to spend some time having our own FHE. I've realized that they don't need to be some spectacular event, but a simple sharing of testimonies and discussion. By spending even an hour each week discussing gospel topics, I know that your marriage is strengthened. Again, consistency is key. We try to have it every Monday night, but sometimes with school and homework it gets pushed to another day; This is okay! At first it was hard to implement, but now after a few months of effort it has become a habit. We can still receive the benefits As long as we are actively trying to do so. (Additionally, a treat afterward can help to make it more fun.) “I know that having FHE as a couple is important, but what are lesson ideas for couples specifically?” Kyle and I tried figuring out a schedule of lessons (I would do the lesson one week and him the next), but it became stressful on top of all of our school work. What we've found that works best is reading gospel material, more specifically, Jesus The Christ by James E. Talmage. By just reading a chapter, it sparks a great discussion from which we can both benefit. This has been a great way to strengthen my testimony and my marriage in just one simple evening each week. Below are a few more ideas: Trisha from Let's Get Together gives specific FHE lesson and activity ideas for newlyweds and empty nesters you can find HERE. Want a specific FHE lesson already planned? Check out LDS Daily's post designed specifically for a newlywed FHE lesson HERE. Marissa, another newlywed, offers 11 FHE ideas that are simple yet fun HERE. "We cannot afford to neglect this heaven-inspired program [family home evening]. It can bring spiritual growth to each member of the family, helping him or her to withstand the temptations which are everywhere. The lessons learned in the home are those that last the longest." -Thomas S. Monson For testimony from Latter-Day prophets on the importance of Family Home Evenings, click HERE. 3. Regular Temple Attendance with my spouse. This gospel action, for me personally, is one of my favorite things to do. I am very grateful that my husband and I were able to make covenants in the temple together. I love going to the House of the Lord where the same sacred covenants I entered into with my husband are performed each and every day. I know, that as Kyle and I continue to go to the temple together to serve, our marriage has been blessed. As a couple, we try and attend the temple at least once a month (since we are about an hour away from a temple). It is important to figure out what works best for your marriage situation. I believe that you can never go to the temple too often. Sometimes, if there is an important decision to be made, going to the temple more often than usual can bring added blessings and guidance. There are many blessings that have come from attending the temple of which we are unaware. I do know that as you attend the temple with your spouse, your marriage is strengthened. You can find more peace and understanding in the temple. Regular temple attendance doesn’t just bless your marriage, but also blesses you individually. I understand that not everyone has a current temple recommend or has made all or any of the temple covenants, but I know that as you work toward those and make it a goal, you will be blessed in your efforts. For more info on LDS Temples go HERE and for more info on the covenants made therein go HERE. Though all aspects of gospel living have blessed my marriage, daily prayer, weekly FHE, and attending the temple together consistently, have blessed my marriage the most. I believe that your marriage should be your most cherished possession and these three actions can help you defend it against the fiery darts of the adversary.
Great marriages are defined not by how they handle the easy days, but by how the couple copes with the hard ones.
“…That is good news because no matter how flat your relationship may be at present, if you keep adding pebbles of kindness, compassion, listening, sacrifice, understanding, and selflessness, eventually a mighty pyramid will begin to grow.” This weekend I watched Latter-Day Saint General Conference and heard some great spiritual messages! I also heard great messages about marriage, too! I especially found one particular talk I wanted to share that was so “nailed on the head” and relatable to all marriages, not just religious ones.
The most important priority of our family councils is facilitating open and candid conversation in order to solve each other’s problems.
Find your sense of humor, match it up with your spouse, and then add a little humor to your marriage.
There is no greater goal than to be an eternal family. What is heaven, if it is not the family unit? When you think of heaven, do you think of being there alone? I don’t. I can’t even picture it in my head.
Let's do a dive deep into your marriage with our interactive "Strengthen Your Marriage " Workbook! I WANT THIS WORKBOOK :: $17 This is a digital product. Inside this interactive marriage workbook you will find:
This Week's Gospel Doctrine Lesson: "Spiritual Gifts, Obedience, Attitude, and the Land of Zion" We have started a new week in our Church History studies - February 28, 2013
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WHAT IS A SUCCESSFUL MARRIAGE? I read this quote a while back and it really stuck with me - "I believe that we get to make the rules, that we get to WHAT IS A SUCCESSFUL MARRIAGE?I read this quote a while back and it really stuck with me -"I believe that we get to make the rules, that we get to choose,
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Anger in your marriage is curable. By using the incomparable SEW technique, only The Marriage Foundation offers, individuals are freed from anger.
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We can't deny this is true, that we (at least, in America and probably most European nations) live in this increasing "new-age" of hyper-independence. And this is reflected in many aspects of our lives -
Sharing easy recipes, fun printables, and family fun games that the whole family will love!
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One of the most read posts I have written on Simply Clarke is The One Question To Ask Your Husband EVERYDAY. It came from a moment in our own marriage that really made an impact on us as a couple and strengthened our marriage. For me personally, it opened my eyes to the fact that […]
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Residency. Is. Hard. I'm just putting it out there very first because it's the honest truth. It's best just to accept it, try not to dwell on it, but rather "gird up your loins", so to speak! Medical school was tough as well... but I have been tried more and come to lower points during residency than I ever did while my husband was in school. I know this sounds dreary, but stick with me here... When I heard from other wives ahead of us in this journey, they would try to warn me about the 80+ hour work weeks and life as a single-mom. They would try to warn me about the financial situation and the reality of living on LESS than we did while we had student loans paying our bills. They would say "If you need to buy anything (such as new clothes, new TV, go on vacation, etc), get it out of your system during med school because you won't be able to do that in residency." Well, guess what? They were right! My husband earns just enough money a year that we can't apply for government assistance programs... and yet we barely have enough to squeak by each month. Savings? What's that?! Thankfully, we have no credit card debt, only one car payment, have a pretty low rent, and we try to be very careful with our money. We are budgeted down to the very last diaper and banana. Surprisingly, a few things that I can rarely ever afford to work into my grocery cart are tissue boxes, any cut of beef, and more than the single bottle of apple juice a week for my kids. It's an interesting balance each week, and boy do I miss having tissues in my home. TP just is not the same when you have allergies! Am I right? I will write another day about the cash envelope system we use in our home and how incredibly helpful it has been! But for today I wanted to share with you the three things that have helped me to not only survive residency but to find happiness amidst the trials. President Harold B. Lee said : "Happiness does not depend on what happens OUTSIDE of you, but on what happens INSIDE. It is measured by the spirit with which you meet the problems of life." #1: Morning and evening prayer. -If I am able to center myself before I have to go upstairs to get my two crazies out of bed and start my long, 12+ hour day as a single parent, then I find myself in a much better place to do so. Reporting my day, concerns and struggles to a loving and all-knowing Father in Heaven is one way I am reminded that I'm not alone in this. In return, He blesses me with a calm spirit and more compassion towards my sweet little ones during the trying moments. #2: Priesthood Blessings. -A few months ago I hit the lowest point so far in this journey. I was resentful, unhappy, exhausted, frustrated with my husband and my kids, frustrated with myself for being so frustrated, and feeling dangerously close to giving up. I asked my husband for a blessing (which is also something you can ask of a Home Teacher, Bishopric member, or friend/family member who holds the Melchizedek Priesthood). I was hesitant to receive one at his hands because ... well, I was in a bad place, to be honest. I was upset with him for making this life OUR life. But as he spoke the words that I know came from Heaven, I was humbled, strengthened, and ultimately saved from the dark place I was in. Boy, did I need it. I have since then used that experience to keep me grounded to what's important: my husband, my children, and most of all my spiritual well-being. If I am struggling, then my whole family struggles. Priesthood blessings can be given and received ANYTIME you feel you need it. Use that divine tool!! That's what it's there for. #3: Remember who you are! -Ours is a divine and sacred calling. We are mothers to spirit children who were saved for this latter-day! We are the sole caretakers, teachers and examples to these precious spirits. The adversary wants us to feel down, resentful, unhappy with our lot in life, and for our homes to fall apart. We are in partnership not only with our husbands in our parenting roles, but also with our Father in Heaven. He wants us to turn to Him if we are struggling with this divine calling. He can strengthen us when we feel we're at the end of our rope ... and he can also help us to find the JOY again if we have misplaced it. So, to all you "single" mothers who know the ups and downs of this beast we call residency (and medical school), hang in there. Look inward and see if there is an imbalance in your spiritual well-being. Spend some quality time on your knees, ask for a blessing from those who have proper authority, and focus on the importance of your own important work. I promise that you will come out stronger, happier, and more able to support your husbands as they continue in their work. -F. Nightingale
A must read article providing advice for newlyweds and all married couples, for that matter. From marriage blog, Married and Naked.
At the end of a bad relationship day we need to remember this. Chances are in some way or another you do this in your marriage. Here's why it needs to stop.
WHAT DOES JOSEPH SMITH'S EXAMPLE TEACH ME ABOUT LEARNING THE GOSPEL? Say to the class: I'll bet everyone in class knows about the First Vision--right? Let's see how much you know and whether you can learn a little bit more today. I'm going to ask some questions and we'll see if you know or can find the answers. Q: If I wanted to read about Joseph Smith's First Vision, where would I look? A: Pearl of Great Price, Joseph Smith--History Q: Joseph Smith decided to pray after reading what scripture? A: James 1:5. (Read it together in verse 11.) Look at verse 12: "Never did any passage of scripture come with more power to the heart of man than this did at this time to mine. It seemed to enter with great force into every feeling of my heart." Q: What power can give this kind of feeling when you are reading the scriptures? A: The Holy Ghost. (You may want to ask the class if they have ever had a scripture reinforced to them by the Holy Ghost in this manner, or share an incident when you experienced that.) Q: What was the question Joseph was asking? A: Which church to join. (Verse 18) Q: How important was this question to Joseph Smith? A: We can tell it was of utmost importance to him because of the effort he put into thinking about it. Verse 8: "...serious reflection..," "...my feelings were deep...," "I attended [churches] as often as occasion would permit...," "in process of time...." Verse 10: "I often said to myself..." Verse 11: "...laboring under the extreme difficulties..." Verse 12: "I reflected on it again and again." Verse 13: "... at length I came to the determination to ask of God." This is an important thing to understand: Joseph Smith didn't just decide in one afternoon to ask God something he really wondered about. He had thought, and thought, and though about it. He really, really wanted to know. He had studied the scriptures and attended meetings to find the answer, and still he couldn't figure it out. But he did find out that God would answer him if he prayed. He intended to change his life to match the answer he got. Q: What year was it? A: 1820 (verse 14) Q: Had Joseph ever prayed out loud before? A: No (verse 14) Q: Why not, and in a related question, why do you think he went out into the woods to pray, instead of praying in his bedroom? A: He had eight brothers and sisters and two parents and they all lived together in a tiny cabin. There was no private place indoors. Q: Before Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ appeared to Joseph Smith and surrounded him with light, he was surrounded by something else. What was it? A: Darkness, the power of the devil. (verses 15-16) Just as the Holy Ghost wants to help us find truth when we are seeking it, the devil wants us to be confused and afraid. If something very wonderful is about to happen, the devil always wants to hurry and get in the way. This is an important thing to remember. If you felt the Holy Ghost tell you to do something, and you know it is a good thing to do, and then everything starts going wrong, remember it may be the devil trying to stop you. If you know it was the right thing to do, don't let the devil frighten you away from it; just keep going and Heavenly Father will help you. Q: How many things can we learn about the Godhead from Joseph Smith's experience with the First Vision? A: (Read aloud the last part of verse 16 and all of verse 17, and write the class members' answers on the board. Some possible answers are listed below, but your class may have additional ones.) Satan is powerful. God is more powerful than Satan. Satan does not want good things to happen. Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ are more bright and glorious than we can imagine. Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ are two separate people. Jesus Christ is Heavenly Father's Son. Heavenly Father loves Jesus Christ. The Holy Ghost testifies to us when we read the scriptures. Heavenly Father will answer our prayers if we pray sincerely. Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ have the same bodily form that we do. Jesus Christ speaks for Heavenly Father. ------------------------------------------------------------------------- Here is a nice little worksheet I found on Pinterest about the Apostacy and Restoration. -------------------------------------------------------------------------- Don't forget all the great old Gospel Doctrine videos. Some I'm sure are on line. We have the old VHS at our house, so that's what I'll be using. I really like the 15-minute episode "A Search for the Truth" about Wilford Woodruff, found on "Teachings from the Doctrine and Covenants and Church History. Your church media center probably has it. "Joseph Smith and the Restoration" from the same video is also wonderful. It is 16 minutes long. --------------------------------------------------------------------------- Here is a really fun Object Lesson on the Apostacy using paper cups I found on Pinterest. --------------------------------------------------------------------------- And look what else I found online? My own mneumonic device and drawings on dispensations, reworked onto an informative pdf handout.