There are treatments for a LOT of diseases out there, there are less cures (because the money is not in the cure.. don't get me started), but there are medications($$) you can take, things you can do to alleviate pain and discomfort from some of the most common diseases, but Stupid, not so much. Stupid may or may not be genetically passed along. I mean I have known entire families to be pretty fucking stupid, but not always. Stupid can be caused by a traumatic blow to the brain, however generally Stupid is just a way of life for the more than 75% of the world that suffer with it. Stupid doesn't discriminate either, black, white, hispanic, male, female, young, old it is an equal opportunity affliction. Generally the afflicted don't have a clue they are afflicted, which makes it a difficult affliction to deal with, but by definition alone, I guess it's not surprising that they are unaware. Here is the dictionary definition of Stupid: lacking intelligence or common sense. Hmmm.. where to go from there. Stupidity is one of my pet peeves. For those that know me well, they know that stupidity is one of the top three things that will definitely get you punched in the face. Some of you are wondering, what about the people that can't help being stupid. Let me define Stupid for you, MY way. Stupid people are people who just don't give a fuck about what comes out of their mouths, what actions they take and have an overall absence of intelligence in making life choices. By most accounts, 90% of people who actually have the balls to call themselves a "celebrity" are stupid. Sure they make money (but that's YOUR fault) but money is not a cure for stupidity. If you apply my definition of stupid to celebrities, you see that they ALL generally meet the requirements. Saying shit without regard for whether it's actually true or makes any fucking sense all the damn time, doing shit that is just senseless all the time and making choices that are just fucked up without any thought process at all (just think Miley Cyrus licking shit all the fucking time). Generally children suffer from this affliction, but admittedly their stupidity can be cute at times and they eventually grow out of it. But just think of some of the shit that has come out of kids mouths. But at least they have the excuse of no life experience. I mean eventually these little bastards gain some life experience and common sense and can overcome. But not all the time. Sometimes they can't overcome the affliction and they become, you guessed it, stupid fucking adults. Adults that suffer from stupidity are easily identifiable. They generally make no fucking sense when speaking about any topic and have to raise their voice to cover up their stupidity. They suffer from the overwhelming side effects of stupidity which can include, but are not limited to, random bouts of silence when asked any kind of question, speaking incoherently, citing other stupid people as a form of logic, answering a question WITH ANOTHER FUCKING QUESTION, and just basically talking out of their asses. Stupid people also tend toward the dramatic, again to draw attention away from their affliction. They have extreme opinions on topics such as religion, politics and the weather. However these opinions are based on zero facts and if they do happen to cite a fact, again it's generally from another stupid person. The worst part about stupid people however, has to be their decision making abilities, or rather lack thereof. It's scares the shit out of me to think that these people vote, procreate, and drive. Stupid people driving is of epidemic proportions out here in LA (that's Los Angeles, not Louisiana...that kind of stupidity is another blog altogether). Blinkers, brake pedals and common sense are all in the shitter when stupid people drive. The sad truth is that many of these people will drift through life annoying the fuck out of the rest of us. So, the best thing we can do is keep sending research monies to find some way to cure this disease, just like we do for all of the other diseases they eventually found cures for......um...polio (thank you Dr. Salk, who asked for like $1.50 and got the job done). Until then, just suffer through and keep your punching in the face skills sharp. And remember what the immortal George Carlin said: "Think about how stupid the average person is, and then realize that half of them are stupider than that"

Well, we're here, again. Every fucking year it comes back. Can't get out of it. Christmas is around the corner. Last year I told you all not to buy your kids expensive shit they don't need and to cop to the truth about Santa. I bet you didn't. Chicken shits! This Christmas I am not going to try and convince you what the right thing to do is, because you will just do whatever the fuck you want anyways. Fuckers. What I will do is tell you what I want for Christmas this year. Yeah, that's right, I got shit that I want and plenty of it. And it may not all be delivered by a fat white dude who plays with elves (let that picture get burned into your mind... not so jolly, huh?). So without further delay, as I can see your breathless anticipation is building...... I want world peace. I know that sounds corny and cliche, but trust me, this shit worries me. Any crazy fucker with a couple of ounces of uranium and a vendetta can seriously fuck shit up. Especially around this all important time of year people get crazy. Well, crazy people get crazier. In the immortal words of Rodney King..."Can't we all just get along?" I want people to stop acting like assholes. I know this is a really really big wish, but in light of recent events, I can't help thinking we are on the path to doomdom. Yes, doomdom live with it. But seriously, police fucking with people (and by fucking with I mean killing) and people fucking with police (but not killing them) it worries me what the future holds for the next generation. No matter what your beliefs are with respect to the law, gun control etc. I truly believe that it can be resolved if people stopped acting like asshole for 5 fucking minutes and started acting like humans again, seriously. I want the entertainment world to drastically change. I want actors, singers, producers and everyone else associated with the "entertainment" industry to not make millions of dollars for doing nothing. Stop and think about this for a minute. You are willing to succumb to the EVER CLIMBING prices of going to a movie, but if your kids teacher sent around a petition asking for money for school supplies, your dumb ass would be up in arms complaining about the fact that public education is supposed to be free. It's not fucktard, you are supposed to HELP. You are willing to contribute to the lavish and ridiculous lifestyles of people whose only talent is being really good storytellers, manipulators and liars. That is what it boils down to. You idolize people who live a fantasy life everyday and are in no way in touch with reality. Are they curing any diseases? Are they making anyone's life better? (And no fucking entertaining someone doesn't make their life better. It allows them to escape their shitty life for a few hours) 90% of these people don't have any formal education or marketable skills and are a waste of space. Yet, millions of people flock every weekend to throw their money at them. Wake the fuck up and realize that celebrities don't love you back. I want someone to find a cure for stupid. Seriously. I mean that pretty much says it all, but if you need further explanation, maybe you can volunteer to be one of the first test subjects.... ;) I want professional athletes to make the same amount of money that teachers do. Whether that means that athletes take a HUGE pay cut or that teachers get a HUGE raise, I'm fine with it. I think teachers should have to compete for their jobs just like athletes and be subject to public scrutiny just like athletes. I think that athletes should have to re-certify their abilities to remain professional athletes every year which includes "off the field" behavior and ethics, just like teachers. Can you fucking imagine how many assholes would lose their jobs on both sides? LOL. Classic. I want people to mind their own fucking business. It's none of your fucking business what other people think about you. It's none of your fucking business who fucks who and how they do it. It's none of your fucking business how anyone lives their life unless they are directly, physically hurting yours. It's none of your fucking business if people want to marry each other or they don't. It's none of your fucking business if I want to worship the devil or whatever the fuck false idol I want to, it's none of your fucking business. You know what is your business? YOUR OWN FUCKING LIFE!! Take care of your shit and I will take care of mine. Go the fuck to work, to church, to school or wherever it is you want to go. I won't bother if you don't bother me. Ooh...you know what else would be really beneficial to all of mankind? If our government just finally came out and admitted that they were all of bunch of money grubbing, lying douchebags who are only in politics for the money and power. If they finally admitted that they don't give a flying fuck about the general public and that there really is no bi-partisan system, it's just one big party of ASSHOLES. If they finally admitted that big business runs this country not the person sitting in the white house or the fucktards who pretend to be in Congress or the Senate. That would at least let people know where they stand and maybe, just maybe, people would stop voting like it's a fucking high school popularity contest and voting in people who actually knew what the fuck they were doing. So, if right about now you're feeling like "gee, I don't think I can get here any of those things on her list"...don't worry! I will post my "I'm a materialistic d'bag like the rest of us" Christmas list on my FB page!!! Just kidding...maybe. Have a very Merry Fucking Christmas, Happy Hanukkah, Happy Kwanza, Happy Ramadan and Happy Holidays!!!

So at the beginning of the year I was thinking about how I can make this year better than last, make myself better, happier (not resolutions, because you know how I feel about that shit) and I realized that fuck it, my life is what it is and I am who I am (insert Popeye giggle here). Just kidding. I found this "article" on Facebook and I printed it out and stuck it on the wall by my desk. I look at it everyday and while at times it does bring me some inspiration, I mostly just give it the finger and think of a really sarcastic answer to the suggestions that it makes. Soooo.... in the spirit of my perfection of the art of smart ass, here is MY version of the 12 things that "happy" people do differently.... 1) Express gratitude. The article actually suggests that you appreciate the things you have in your life instead of coveting what you WANT to have. Now this seems like encouragement to be a lazy fuck. Basically the advice is that you better appreciate what you have because it doesn't get any better. WTF? I say, express a lack of willingness to accept the status quo and then thank yourself when you finally get what you want. (Hopefully you worked for and earned it and didn't steal it. But who am I to judge?) 2) Cultivate Optimism. The article says that people see the cup as half full live in a world packed with endless opportunities. I say that if your glass is only HALF full you better get the fuck up and either fill it up yourself or have the bartender stop slacking on his duties. 3) Avoid over-thinking and social comparison. Again, cherish what you already have and stop competing with the "Jones". WTF? This goes against every AMERICAN fiber of our beings. I mean what the fuck did that kid create Facebook for if not to over-think statuses, and compare your social life to those of your 8 million friends? This is terrible advice. If you don't obsess on what people say and do and try and beat those mother fuckers before they achieve something you haven't, you are lost in this world. 4) Practice Acts of Kindness. I am just going to go ahead and assume the author means for yourself. You should be kind to yourself everyday, because if you don't who will? Plus the author cites that practicing random acts of kindness releases Serotonin and well, couldn't we all use a little more Serotonin in our lives, really, come on. 5) Nurture social relationships. "The happiest people on the planet are the ones who have deep meaningful relationships". Well this is a no-brainer. Doesn't everyone have lots of deep meaningful relationships? The one I have with my legions of followers (Hint, hint), the one I have with the mailman when I say "thank you" for putting my mail in the mailbox. The one I have with my bartender when I politely say "where the fuck is my refill"? I mean some people have even taken this to the next level. Of course there are restraining orders and stalking laws to discourage that, but you should it give your all no matter what!! Who can put a price on the legal defense of YOUR happiness! 6) Develop strategies for coping. DUH! What do you think drugs and alcohol are for... NEXT 7) Learn to Forgive. "Harboring feelings of hatred is horrible for your well-being " I couldn't agree more. Don't hold that shit in. You find whoever it is that wronged you and beat the fuck out of them immediately. No time like the present. You will feel so much better. And after you're done, don't forget to tell the person how much you've forgiven them! 8) Increase flow experiences. When I first read this one, I thought well fuck, once a month is PLENTY for me, but the meaning was COMPLETELY different. "Flow is a state in which it feels like time stands still". WTF? Who is this person writing this fucking article? Time stands still? Who the fuck has time to stand still. In the REAL world the best philosophy is to keep it moving... a moving target is hard to hit. Forget this flow shit.... 9) Savor life's joys. So I am assuming the author is talking about drinking your wine slower and eating your chocolate so that is lasts for hours (kind of like the flow, but better). So, yeah. 10) Commit to your goals. "Being wholeheartedly dedicated to doing something comes fully-equipped with an ineffable force." I don't even know what the fuck ineffable means. So, let me explain it to you. If you say you are going to punch someone in the face, you do it and do it well. If you're an excellent stalker, then you be the best stalker you can be. Make that commitment to excellence and achieve your goals. The ends always justify the means. Trust me. 11) Practice spirituality. "when we practice spirituality or religion, we recognize that life is bigger than us". Um, no shit. Most of you know that I'm not big on religion or spirituality, so whatever floats your boat is up to you. But, yes, the world is bigger than you and if you haven't accepted that yet, then maybe you need to do more than just "practice" spirituality or religion, you may need professional help. 12) Take care of your body. "Taking care of your body is crucial to being the happiest person you can be". Okay, I am going to go out on a limb and assume that this person means like exercise and shit. And let me just tell you that I have NEVER seen someone leaving a yoga class with a fucking smile on their face, NEVER. And I sure as fuck have never left my exercise sessions in an orgasmic state of being either. Not that everyone shouldn't be healthy, but it's all relative. And there you have it. Follow these guidelines and you can be as happy as I am. Until next time.... you're welcome. :)

Club Kid Kabuki, Mid 1990's, Now make-up artist to the stars, (See: Amy Sedaras' book " I Like You")

There is so much wisdom in ancient Chinese Proverbs. A journey of a thousand miles must begin with a single step. Chinese Calligraphy is slowly becoming a lost art.

Lainey Molnar's art becomes the canvas for reflecting society, portraying the modern woman’s journey in a world pulsating with diverse narratives. The artist fearlessly navigates through the pressures that women face daily. With her thought-provoking comics, she challenges the norms and celebrates honest womanhood.

Republicans don't believe in global warming science, but love unscientific tax "science" that benefits the rich