Body Dysmorphic Disorder is an obsessive mental illness that can cause people to believe they are so ugly they try to kill themselves, or have extensive plastic surgery with weird results!
Part I
Most people have general anxieties about life: friendships, relationships, exams and so on. But what makes an anxiety an anxiety condition? The NHS of the UK says this: Anxiety is a feeling of unease, worry or fear. Everyone feels anxious at some point in their life, but for some people it can be an ongoing problem. There are several different types of anxiety (WebMD): Panic disorder Social anxiety disorder Specific phobias Generalized anxiety disorder So where does BDD come into it? Body Dysmorphic Disorder is a an anxiety condition that relates mainly with body image, and involves obsessive worry with appearance. I was diagnosed with BDD in March 2014. When I first got diagnosed with anxiety, I was so confused - I am a fairly sociable person, I very rarely have panic attacks, and I certainly don't have any phobias that affect my day-to-day life... But then, when I got told about BDD, it's like a light turned on; I finally had an answer as to why I think and act the way I do. According to many painful counseling sessions, my anxiety began from a young age. I have had eczema since a child, which has ranged from mild to severe during my lifetime. Being incredibly self conscious of my scabby, scaling skin meant that I developed small obsessions with my appearance. My condition became exasperated during the breakdown of my first serious relationship. I had been cheated on several times, and this had caused deep anxiety and fear about my appearance. People would always compliment me, but if I was so pretty, why did my boyfriend keep cheating on me? (Me at my lowest weight with a BMI of 15.3, aged 17) This was back in 2012, and it was probably the first time I had a real mental health condition. I had lost a lot of weight in a very small amount of time and had a severely underweight BMI - but I just couldn't see it. To me, I was this horrible, ugly, bulbous fat teenager, and even my reflection showed me that. But it just wasn't true. And that's what BDD is mainly about for me - not being able to see my weight as it truly is. And as a consequence, I was underweight, with brittle hair, nails that were snapping off, and constantly exhausted. When I first went to university, I was on my own for the first time. I had to deal with looking after myself fully. Whilst I enjoyed this the majority of the time (I love cooking and baking), it also presented me with a problem: who would know if I started skipping meals again? The first time I admitted I had a mental health problem was towards the end of 2013, and by the beginning of 2014, I had decided for the first time in my life, that the only way to stop a repeat of things was to get help. I visited my university's doctors, and have since then, seen a huge variety of people, some of which who just made me feel like shit, but there have been a few that have greatly impacted my life. It's been over a year of discussions, chats, breakdowns and medication, but I'd like to think that I'm getting somewhere. I have relapses all of the time, and still struggle with eating my three meals a day, as well as struggling with self harm, but maybe, one day, I'll get there. Bye for now,
If you find yourself setting unrealistic expectations for your body, then you might be dealing with body dysmorphic disorder. Learn how to stop all-or-nothing thinking, and why therapy or medication might be the solution for recovery.
Body dysmorphic disorder is a significant but poorly recognised mental health problem for which cosmetic surgery is not the cure
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Our figure drawing group had a wonderful evening last night working with a new model. A lovely petite woman with a short black pixie hair-cut. We took full advantage of her beautiful back when we set up this lounging back pose with some dramatic lighting near her head. I was working with Nupastel on a brick red half sheet (about 12" x 19") of Colourfix paper. I was struggling to get the shadows as rich and deep as I wanted - I just didn't have a dark enough brown. So I started incorporating some deep prussian blue, a little black, deep burgundy and brown into the shadows. Where there was a bit of reflected light on her legs I used some brighter turquoise. But, poor model, this was a very strenuous pose on her shoulder, so we took frequent breaks to let her relax and de-numb her arm. As she was resting, she was sitting in a position much like this one, and we all agreed - let's cut the lounging pose short and move on to this pose! The pose and lighting are very similar to pieces I have been working on in black and white - it was interesting to take that practice and turn it into a more colorful (yet still subdued) interpretation. This was one of our warm-up poses, about 20 minutes. I still ave to play with it a little more - especially the yellows which came out more acidic than warm. But I like the diagonal lines and her pose, as well as the cast shadow on her torso. It has some potential, too!
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8 HOURS OF WRITING, 5 MARKERS, 3 BATHS AND 2 SHOWERS TO CLEAN. “WRITE HERE….RIGHT NOW’ BY GEMMA O’BRIEN!!!! INSPIRATION IS EVERYWHERE MY FRIENDS….ENJOY AND LET THE IN…
