Divorce litigation, especially when there is contested custody, is rarely a straightforward negotiation process. Issues of divorce and custody can be negotiated out of court when certain conditions are present to move the couple to resolution of the issues. Mediated settlements are increasingly popular with both divorcing spouses and the judicial system. However, couples who cannot communicate with one another, and who have engaged in behavior that is threatening, coercive, manipulative and deceptive are usually not in a position to negotiate a settlement with each other. This essay suggests a model that allows a couple to attempt to negotiate a custody agreement taking into consideration the needs of the children and spouses for safety, expediency and firmness in the decision-making process.