*This post contains affiliate links. Updated April 2023 Have you ever wished that you could be one of this people who are great at making small talk? Can you start a conversation with anyone and keep them interested in continuing to talk to you? My father was one of those people. He was so well read that it did not matter who you were or where you came from, he could make you feel like his best friend by the end of you conversation. Photo from Pixabay and used by the author in Canva With technology overtaking the lives of our children, so many of them have phobia of answering the phone and actually talking to another person. It seems so foreign to them when all they have to do is text. It is important for children to learn conversational skills, as well as good manners, in order to be ahead in life. Helping your girls earn the Junior Girl Scout Social Butterfly badge will help guide them in the right direction. Step 1 Hold a Conversation We have all been there…invited to attend an event and we do not know anyone or maybe we have to be at a business event for our spouse and it is important to be able to speak with confidence to others in his industry. Learning to have a conversation is one of the most important skills we have to master in order to be successful adults. Over 27 years ago, my husband had to take the Dale Carnegie course as part of his training as an office manager. I read the books he brought home, and one of the most important of the series was Dale Carnegie’s How to Win Friends and Influence People. While young girls do not have to master all what this best seller has to say, there are many important points you can help them learn to get them started on their way. A summary of the book and the main principals can be found here. While your takeaway may differ from mine, the most important things for a girl to learn are: Look the person in the eye (not at their phone, off in the distance, not to another person-that signals lack of interest and on the hunt for an escape) Use the person’s name when a question is asked. Ask an open ended question (Why did you choose to play soccer?) Smile when you are listening. Don’t argue or criticize. Another thing you many want to have on hand is a list of conversation starters. You can glean a list from this website that has 101 of them! Step 2 Use Table Manners Many years ago, I read a quote that I have used for years in my classroom teaching. The quote is, “Good manners will open doors that the best education cannot.” It always leads to a great discussion. For example, imagine two equally qualified candidates vying for the same job. The hiring committee takes each person out separately for a business lunch. One candidate uses polite table manners while the other eats sloppily-talks with his mouth full, reaches across people to get the salt and pepper shakers, does not pass the basket of rolls around. I ask my students who will get hired? Photo from Pixabay I also remind my students that their table manners, like it or not, are a reflection upon their parents. How do your want others to think of you parents? Everyone reading this has been to a meal with another person whose manners are less than stellar. It can make the meal uncomfortable. My mom used to say, “You weren’t raised in a barn” when she saw a lapse in good table manners. The one subject you may need to tread lightly with in this step is the use of electronics at meals. I have always very strict rules about this. In my home, no television is permitted at meal time, the phone is not allowed to be answered (our landline) and no cell phones at the table. When we go out to eat, my children are supposed to keep their phones in the car or give them to me to put in my pocketbook. Electronic games that are offered at some restaurants as an amusement are not permitted as well. Photo from Pixabay If other families have rules that differ from yours, then say that. All families are different and while we are at Girl Scouts, we are going to not have phones or other electronic interruptions at the table. How can you have a good conversation with the people you are with if you are ignoring them for someone else? Ask your girls what good table manners are. Here is a free printable that you can use with your girls. Make some of the silly. Have them stand up if it is a good manner or sit if it is bad manners (you have to change the words). You can serve a snack at a table and have the girls practice their good manners. Image from Pixabay and used by the author in Canva Step 3 Be Prepared for Special Occasions Ask an adult how they planned a special occasion. Possibilities are: Holiday Meal Wedding Engagement party Bar/Bat Mitzvah Confirmation Step 4 Say Thank You The thank you card is going the way of the Dodo bird. I am old fashioned-I believe a handwritten thank you note is an appropriate way to show appreciation, especially if the gift was sent in the mail and the person did not thank you directly. A phone call is a great substitute, a text is not. Available on Amazon Ask the girls to write a thank you card to someone. Talk about who works around the school that is often under appreciated-the custodians, the school secretary, the teacher aides…have the girls write a note to them. Show them the proper way to write one and to be specific about what they are thanking the person for. Step 5 Practice Being at Ease Assign one girl at a time to greet a parent who is not her own and with whom she is not all that familiar with. Ask them to say hello and how their day was.