Chasing Your Dreams Or Chasing your parents Goals.... It’s not a good thing when your dreams are in opposition to your parents’ wishes. It hurts when we don’t have the support of the people closest to us. It also hurts when we think about going against their wishes. This happens because picking between family and a dream is like trying to pick between two parts of yourself. To pick your family means sacrificing a cherished goal. It means sacrificing part of who you are. But to pick your dream means that you’ll be disappointing your family. Some youth in this position will even face their family’s anger. If you feel like this describes you, then here are some things you need to remember: 1. Your parent wants what is best for you. Parents worry a lot about their children. They worry that they won’t be happy, or that the child will have a poor standard of living in the future. There are very few parents who truly want to sabotage their child’s life. So if one or both of your parents oppose your dream, it is probably motivated by love. 2. Your personal definition of a “successful life” While your parents may want what is best for you, whether your life is a success or not is up to you. Think about what you would call a successful life. Lots of money? A life full of passion and no regrets? One with lots of friends and family? There is no wrong answer here. Whatever you think of as successful is what you need to pursue. 3. Your personal goals Once you have your definition, you need to set personal goals so that you can achieve success. You need both long-term and short-term goals. When it comes time to make a decision in your life make sure it pushes you towards completing one of your goals. Often, people can get so caught up in trying to survive through the day that they lose sight of their goals all together. Then, several years down the road, they wonder why they aren’t successful. 4. It’s okay to fail It is easy to pursue goals for a short period of time. It becomes much harder when you face obstacles that push you back. Remember that it is okay to fail. This is part of how we learn to do better. Take a deep breath, then go back at it again. Remain determined. 5. Remember that your parent loves you to the best of their ability Sometimes parents fail at expressing their love for children. They may not say or do the right thing in a given situation. You may crave their support only to find yourself in an argument with them. When that happens, it hurts. It can feel like a knife piercing your soul. Tell yourself this phrase every time you feel this way, “My parent loves me to the best of his or her ability.” It may take time, even years, but eventually, your mind will convince your heart. Your parent may never show you love the way that you want, but you will still understand that they love you. 6. Find a community that understands If you feel like you’re struggling and won’t be able to make it, then you need to find a community that can understand what you are going through. Fortunately, the internet age makes that easier. Find online groups that share similar interests with you. Plug into those groups. Make friends. You are never alone, but sometimes you have to go searching for the people who will support you.