Perfectionism is a 20-ton shield trying to protect you from blame, shame, and a whole lot more. It's all around us as leaders. Learn how to take imperfect action and why it's important.

Written to answer numerous requests from patients trying to safely navigate these treacherous times.

Heal your relationship to your body & trauma with soverign sensuality. This is a go-at-your-own-pace course for self-healing.

Core wounding. Those deep entrenched, often hidden, beliefs that let us scupper ourselves time and time again. I first came across all this when I did a course of Rebirthing, absolutely ages ago. I’d always felt that my ‘core issue’ was abandonment – and that it had kicked in when my father died (when I was ten). I blamed my inability to form relationships on it – it was a handy tag. I'm not so sure about that any more. Rebirthing, however, looks for stuff that happened during or around your birth, or even before it. I remember asking my mother if there was anything else I should know and she told me, very honestly, very bravely, a shedload of stuff that isn’t mine to share here. But it sideswiped me. Left me horrified and humbled. And it made me realise that my core issue is probably quite different. That, at heart, it was – and maybe still is - Shame. What does Shame say? Shame says ‘You’re a mistake, you’re disgusting, you’re bad, you’re revolting.’ What does Shame do? Shame makes one overly nice and giving, overly scared of hurting people, scared shitless of being exposed as a fraud. Shame makes one a desperate over-achiever, a perfectionist, ever-anxious, ever-fearful. Shame makes one a coward. Actually we didn’t really look at core wounding at The Pause. But something Danielle said struck a core-chord. ‘Being more connected is a helpful way to be in the world.’ And that sense of connection was something that came up strongly for me at The Pause. Being totally alone is bloody lonely – but it’s also safe. If you don’t share yourself with others, if you keep hidden in your little hermit shell, if you push everyone away, if you tell everyone to fuck off (whether overtly or covertly), then you don’t need to confront yourself out there, do you? You can hold tight to your safe little world. Yet, though sharing is scary, it can also be a relief. I was surprised to meet with such acceptance within our little group, amazed that they looked at me and didn’t see the monster within. Ach, psycho-babble, jibber-jabber , mindless mind games and so on and so forth, huh? But still, I feel there’s something in it. Because we’re little psychic sponges, we really are – and, even if nothing is said, nothing overt, we pick up atmospheres, we read the wind. And, no matter how much you like to think you’re an island, this stuff does have an effect on how your life pans out, in particular how you relate to other people. What messages did you pick up as a baby, I wonder? What are your core beliefs? Might it be abandonment (nobody cares about me, I don’t matter, I can’t trust); inferiority (I’m not good enough, I’m stupid, I’m boring); rejection (I’m a burden, nobody wants to spend time with me, I’m unwanted); damage (something’s wrong with me, I’m a failure), or maybe arrogance (I’m too much; I’m right, you’re wrong)? Something else entirely? What messages were drilled into you from an early age? It’s curious but there are some people who, from what they say, had idyllic beginnings – parents who wanted them wholeheartedly, who loved them deeply from the get-go, who were the epitome of Love and Caring and Devotion. And yet… Anyhow, just musing out loud again. What do you reckon?

I say this as someone who has, in the past, dated younger men and been subject to all kinds of judgement, shame and double standards.

This topic is for all of us who ask ourselves "Why do I keep judging myself? How do I stop self judgment?" When we play an event over and over and over in our heads when things don’t go the way we hoped, we find ourselves being just a bit unkind in return. I’m giving you 4 powerful growth

Learn from a financial therapist what money shame is, how money shame is different from guilt, what makes money shame worse, and tips to cope with money shame. Money shame is a shared experience, but with some tips on alleviating money shame, it doesn't have to be so frequent in your life.

. We're all visual thinkers From our earliest moments, we learn about ourselves, others, and the world around us through visual cues. I believe art can help make mental health education more accessible- and that

There was once a Christian woman who got married. Shortly after her wedding day, she was attacked by her husband. He took her dignity and reputation, shamed her, blamed her, treated her like his property, and left her half-dead, alone in her home.

“Let’s close the gap from where you are to where you want to be.”

Since I was three CPTSD has truly affected me. Battling judgement, public shaming, whispers behind my back and not allowing me to see. Would truly trigger the suicide idealisation often in me. Out ...