4/2/15 I wrote this last year, on Autism Awareness Day. It has been a long year since then and I have some thoughts to prelude this post with: "Awareness" is bittersweet. All this awareness has made autism a familiar word. That fact does NOT make people any more INFORMED about what it is - or how it impacts lives. People are now so familiar with this word they undervalue the significance it has on those with autism and their loved ones. I've heard "Oh, at least it's JUST autism," "they are so high-functioning," "she doesn't look disabled," or "they are working on fixing that," and, most often, "Your parenting is enabling your kids, they don't actually have a REAL disability." These things take away from the truths my family deals with daily. It takes all the focus away from how hard my children work to meet the standards we have set for ourselves. Although I have high expectations for my children, that must be balanced with accepting their LIMITATIONS. Those with Autism are more than a label. So while I respect the concept of an Autism Awareness Month I hope we are able to learn something real and tangible to take away from all that. There are many REAL ways to support autism - to give them the tools they need to achieve their goals while allowing them to be exactly who they already are. So if Autism Awareness means education, then I am all for it. Here are great ways to support people with autism and their families: Love them. Just as they are. Accept the grocery store tantrums and the rigidity in playtime, and the meltdowns over "painful" clothing due to sensory issues. Hug them - for my children a good squeeze hug is the best medicine of all. Take their mom out to coffee (trust me, she needs it almost as much as she needs a nap). Have them over for a playdate even if your kid does think they are a bit strange. Talk to your friends who have autism (or parent someone who does) as if they are no different than you. And when they desperately want to say "I'm so different and it can be difficult" then talk about that too. Because that can be hard for us to say. We are a fickle breed. --- Original Post: April 2, 2014 --- Autism is not a badge of honor. It is not a contest ("my child is more disabled than your child"). It is not a burden. Autism is not an "overdiagnosed" or "fictitious" disorder. It was not "created by the medical community to sell more drugs." It is not an "excuse for bad parenting." It is not merely a label. It is not one size fits all. It does not define someone. It is not a disease needing a cure. As is typical of me, this will be far too long. I have far too much to say. I envy the ability to be pithy and simple, to say much with little. But as an "Autism Mom" here is what I want you to know: Today is Autism Awareness Day. I am passionate about learning, understanding, and celebrating the differences that make a person on the spectrum so unique and so special. But as I sat to write something that could put into words what I want others to know, I was stumped. It is in part because I need more awareness. I want to understand my children and use that to be empowered as a parent to give them everything they need to succeed. When I say success I am not trying to conform them to the definition the world uses. I only intend to teach them to love God above all else and to love themselves as well, just as they are. Just as I desire to be loved for who I am, not what I am capable of or what I may achieve. I am working daily on understanding the minds of my children so I can be who they need me to be for them. I am not naturally patient - I am ever multi-tasking and processing things at lightening speed in an effort to waste no time. God has blessed me with children who require I learn patience. I have the opportunity to come to God daily to be equipped for the task at hand. Things that come easily to me may not to my children. Their struggles are very real and impact how they interact in the world, how they learn, and how they show emotion. Since I do not have many of these struggles so much myself, it took me a long time to be the Mom they need me to be. I was too busy working so hard to "fix them." I needed awareness, just as many others do. These amazing kids of mine? They don't need fixing because nothing, NOTHING is "broken." There is nothing "wrong" and no disease to "cure." Getting them the help they need to be the best versions of themselves does not mean changing them. It means enabling and strengthening them. What amazing brilliance, intelligence, and creativity this world would have missed out on without Autism! So, for me, awareness means giving them coping tools, adapting their learning environment to fit their learning style, adapting the way I parent to suit their own individual needs. Awareness for me looks like providing a safe, accepting, sensory-friendly environment for my children to learn, grow up, and know they are unconditionally loved. So I beg their forgiveness as they deal with my learning curve, my imperfections, and my ignorance as I plug forward. There were days I wish I had a sign "Autism. Kindly quit staring & judging." I realize this is FOR ME, for my benefit. I care far too much what others may think of me, my children, or my parenting skills. As I embrace every difference that makes my children so amazing, I am learning to care less what others think because it's really none of my business. What matters to me now is what God thinks and that my children KNOW I love them. I like them. They are beautiful the way they are. Here are some things I'd like you to know, in my effort to celebrate "Autism Awareness Day": -Autism is not a punishment from God. It certainly does not need to be "cured" like this guy thinks. That perspective makes my blood boil. I have encountered those who "helpfully" let me know my children simply need more spanking and stricter punishment. I cannot spank the autism out of my child any more than I can slap the ignorance out of you! My children need healthy boundaries, consistency, routine, and for me to learn how they operate and respond. This is really no different than any other child. Scripture clearly tells us we are made in His image, for His glory, and by no mistake or accident. For those of you who do not know my daughters let me assure you - they ARE living for His glory indeed! [Sat down to breakfast one morning and found Taylor's notebook open, this poem to God written on it.] Psalm 139:14 "For you formed my inward parts; you knitted me together in my mother's womb. I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well." John 9:2-3 "His disciples asked Him, "Rabbi, who sinned, this man or his parents, that he was born blind?" "Neither this man nor his parents sinned," said Jesus, "but this happened so that the works of God might be displayed in him." Exodus 4:11 "Then the Lord said to him, “Who has made man's mouth? Who makes him mute, or deaf, or seeing, or blind? Is it not I, the Lord?" Autism is not a contest. Please stop saying to me "So and so is more disabled." or "Blah blah's kid has worse autism." Understand this: First, autism is not a disability. It is an ABILITY. Second, being on the spectrum is hard in many ways because you see the world a bit differently, feel things a bit deeper, and struggle with things that are a norm or come naturally to others. Having autism is always a challenge and just because every. single. person. with autism is different than any other does NOT mean one is "worse" than another. Or that higher functioning autism means there are no challenges at all. Third, although all my children are verbal and intelligent, and creative, and mobile, and (mostly) toilet-trained, does not make life EASY. At least not for me as the mom. I am wiped out at times. So pretty pretty please don't tell me how easy I have it, how much "worse" some one else has it, or how lucky I am that "at least your kid can such-and-such." If you do, I may have to go ahead and punch you in the throat. I mean, with all that spanking I'm not doing I've got to direct my physical aggression somewhere right? :) Do not tell me my child "does not look autistic." What does that even mean?! Thank God you came along to tell me my kid does not have autism. Phew, what a waste of time all that seeing professionals was. I wish you'd given me your expert medical opinion earlier! If you meant it as a compliment, thanks. It was hard work getting here, to where you see us now. For the parents and the child. That said, having autism is not about looking different than most of the world - it is about thinking, feeling, and operating a bit differently. In a good way - because life here, with my children on the spectrum, is never ordinary or dull. [I never want a world where THIS is not my life. Where the house is arranged into rainbow, numerical, or alphabetical order and is covered in maps. Yes, maps are my son's obsession. I love this version of life, the one where my kids are transformed by a simple weighted blanket.]
The goal of this article is to prepare you for the basic knowledge you'll need to know to be successful and possibly more readied than the average Army recruit arriving to Basic Combat Training (BCT).
Books can be an awesome tool for addressing certain classroom behaviors. Here are some fun readalouds for every behavior from tattling to lying to picking your nose – check out this fun list! I provided the links for you to see them directly on Amazon if you want to check them out – some links are affiliate links which means I get commission if you buy from the links, it’s no extra cost for you but I just wanted to let you know! TATTLING Tattling can be a huge issue in elementary school. These books are wonderful for teaching students tattling vs. reporting to cut down on the silly, “He keeps looking at me!” type tattles. A Bad Case of Tattle Tongue is a favorite of mine for teaching kids not to tattle. Josh tattles so much that he wakes up with a tattle tongue! It’s a great book for lessons on when it’s important to tell to help others vs. tell to get others in trouble. I also love Don’t Squeal Unless It’s a Big Deal: A Tale of Tattletales for teaching students the correct way to handle solutions with their peers before tattling. …
Brazil based designer and illustrator Carol Rossetti ‘s series on women breaking stereotypes across the world has been hugely appreciated by people. In the series, she powerfully breaks the shackles of society and gender disparity [...]
I hate cleaning. Loathe it. Will put it off for forever. I could do laundry or wash dishes until I am blue in the face, but cleaning…not so much. A couple days ago though, I decided to embrace my inner Mom of the Year and go for it. It went well. My son started rolling […]
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This is a fun interactive ASL (American Sign Language) poster made with lenticular graphics. When you walk pass the poster or look at it and lean left to right the images change/move - showing you how to make the signs. Its a great way to learn some basic signs in ASL. The 15 signs/words are: More, Eat, Finish, Drink, Milk, Want, Cookie, Cracker, Book, Home, Bed, Bath, Mom, Dad and Thank You. This is a perfect baby shower gift for any parent wanting to learn some basic signs with their baby/toddler. Some families put the poster on the refrigerator so it is easy to access. Its also great for a pre-school classroom learning sign language. All the children are either deaf or can hear and have deaf parents. ASL is their first language. The poster is made of plastic and is 12 1/4" x 18 3/4" in size. Please check out the First Signs flash cards too. This set of 15 words/signs is the EXACT same words/signs/images you see here in this poster. Some people like to see the images one by one. The flash cards are a good alternative to this poster. If you think you might like learning with flash cards please look at my listings to see the First Signs flash cards. Don't forget to checkout the Early Signs Poster and Zoo Animal Poster. Have fun leaning and teaching! Enjoy!
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LGBT men and women embraced by their loved ones and community.
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Be encouraged: you don't have to be good at everything.
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The words above hang on the wall at my retreats. I wrote them last year as I focused on what I most wanted the experience to be for all of us. It really comes down to a safe space where we can each just show up as our whole selves. Yes. As Hand to Heart has grown into an intimate, nurturin
