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A guy drives into a ditch, but luckily, a farmer is there to help. He hitches his horse, Buddy, up to the car and yells, “Pull, Nellie, pull!” Buddy doesn’t move. “Pull,...
A man and his wife are travelling through the United States, when they notice a sign telling them that the town they are entering is called Kissimee. They quickly start arguing about...
Mr. and Mrs. Johnson had been happily married for decades, but there was one thing that bothered Mr. Johnson. They had five sons named Al, Ben, Carl, Dan, and Edgar. Now Al,...
A woman walked into the kitchen to find her husband stalking around with a fly swatter. “What are you doing?” She asked. “Hunting Flies” He responded. “Oh!, Killing any?” She asked. “Yep,...
A wife decides to take her husband, James, to a strip club for his birthday. They arrive at the club and the doorman says, “Hey, James! How ya doin’?” His wife is...
At school, a boy is told by a classmate that most adults are hiding at least one dark secret, and that this makes it very easy to blackmail them by saying, “I...
Dave was bragging to his boss one day, “You know, I know everyone there is to know. Just name someone, anyone, and I know them.” Tired of his boasting, his boss called...
On a visit to see his grandmother, a teen boy listens as she goes on and on about the cost of living. “When I was a young girl,” she moans, “you could...
An engineer died and ended up in Hell. He was not pleased with the level of comfort in Hell, and began to redesign and build improvements. After a while, they had toilets...
A man and his wife are sitting down to dinner. “Ringling Brothers is coming to town this week,” she said. “The poster says they have a dancing bear. I always wanted to...
A young ventriloquist is touring the clubs and one night he’s doing a show in a small club in a small town in Arkansas. With his dummy on his knee, he’s going...
One day there were two men walking down a dirt path. One of them had a big potato sack over his shoulder. The other decided to ask what was in the sack....
A guy walks into a bar and grabs a stool. Before he can order a drink, the bowl of pretzels on the bar in front of him says, “Hey, you’re a handsome...
A young boy comes down to breakfast one morning. His mother asks, “Have you done your chores yet?” “No,” replies the boy, “but could I have breakfast first?” “You know the rules,...
An exhausted blonde dragged herself to the doctor’s office. “Doctor, there are dogs all over my neighborhood,” she said.”They bark all day and all night, and I can’t get a wink of...
Albert Einstein was getting bored with making the same speech over and over again at different meetings, so one night, after a long day, his chauffeur jokingly said, “I’ve heard your speech...
Two scientists were discussing their latest behaviour-modification research. “We’ve started something new,” said the first scientist. “For some of our more dangerous experiments, we’re now using lawyers.” “Lawyers?” questioned her colleague. “But...
A man hates his wife’s cat with a passion and decides to get rid of it once and for all. He drives twenty blocks away from home and drops the cat there....
A new man is brought into a prison cell with a cellmate who is already 100 years old. The new cellmate asks the old man his story. The old con says, “You...
