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In diesem Artikel erzähle ich von einer Situation, in der ich keinen anderen Ausweg sah, als meine Tochter anzuschreien und dann beschoss, etwas zu ändern. Ich beschreibe, wie ein Perspektivenwechsel uns dabei helfen kann, den Alltag mit Kindern harmonischer zu gestalten. Und ich zeige euch konkrete und sofort umsetzbare Wege, mit deren Hilfe wir Konflikte entschärfen und Luft zum Atmen gewinnen können. Liebevoll und auf Augenhöhe mit unseren Kindern.

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ST. LOUIS, MO (KTVI) – A teen boy claims his baby is being `legally` stolen by a reputable adoption agency. He`s fighting to get his child back and has the support of his parents. Cody Deadmond told us, ‘I may not be ready for it. Who`s ready for a kid at 16-years-old before you even […]

Growing up I feared my mother’s anger. Her wrath, when incurred, could produce a hailstorm of slapping, hair pulling and guttural screams that if I close my ears and really concentrate I can still hear today. Of course now that she’s an elderly grandmother that saucy side of her personality- and even the mere thought […]

Sometimes parenting our children requires creativity. This morning, after griping and moaning through our family scripture study/breakfast (and generally ruining it for everyone--again), Zach vehemently declared that he no longer wanted to be part of this family. I'm tired of dealing with his attitude every morning, so today I required an apology before I would drive him to school. He refused, so I got out of the car. This was new territory for both of us. I usually put up with his frustrating behaviors that always happen before school, and then cheerfully take him when and where he needs to go. Something snapped in my brain today, and I stood up for myself. There was no yelling. No arguing. No threatening. Just a quiet request for a sincere apology to the person who serves him unfailingly from day to day. Me. For about half an hour, Zach raged and cried about how unfair his life is. I cleaned the kitchen. When he repeated his request to be emancipated from our family, I suggested he pack his things. He balked. After another hour (he missed his first class), he came out of his room and started begging me to take him to school. I calmly reminded him of my terms. He growled in frustration. I took a shower. Eventually, we both realized someone had to budge. Since it was time to take Lexi to preschool, I quickly scrawled out a rental agreement. Zach could either agree to be a respectful member of the family or pay for room and board in our home. Happily, it conveyed the message Zach needed to understand. He chose Option B and gave me a big hug. It felt really good. Then he apologized, with emotions and remorse and everything. And then I took him to school. When I signed him in at the attendance office, the secretary asked if he was just late, or if he had been at an appointment. I explained that he had had a rough morning at home. She gave me a knowing look, then handed Zach the slip he needed to get into class. I will hold onto this signed contract. I'm sure it will come in handy the next time (I have no doubt there will be a next time) Zach wishes to defect. I just hope that next time ends in a warm hug, too.

Esther Wojcicki raised Anne, Susan and Janet Wojcicki, two CEOs and a doctor. Here's how she thinks about parenting.

Parents are responsible for shaping up the behavior of children and implementing positive values in them. So it is important that Parents should be good role models kids would want to follow.

Question My child with Aspergers loves pizza rolls. Problem is that's about all he eats (cheese only - doesn't like pepperoni or sausage). He would eat pizza rolls for breakfast, lunch and dinner if we let him. Is there any way to lure him into eating some fruits and/or vegetables? Answer Most Aspergers (high functioning autistic) children prefer just a few food items. And it can become quite a power struggle for parents when they attempt to get their child to try anything new. However, there are some ways that parents can "sneak" some healthy stuff into their child's belly. Here are a few tips that may work: 1. Don't get hung up on the time of day your Aspergers youngster eats – or how much he eats in one sitting. It is perfectly fine if your Aspie doesn't eat three square meals every day as long as over the course of a week or two he eats a few things from each food group. 2. Concoct creative camouflages. There are all kinds of possible variations on the old standby "cheese in the trees" (cheese melted on steamed broccoli florets), or you can all enjoy the pleasure of veggies topped with peanut- butter sauce, a specialty of Asian cuisines. 3. Make veggie art. Create colorful faces with olive-slice eyes, tomato ears, mushroom noses, bell-pepper mustaches, and any other playful features you can think of. Zucchini pancakes, for example, make a terrific face to which you can add pea eyes, a carrot nose, and cheese hair. 4. Plant a garden with your Aspergers child. Let him help care for the plants, harvest the ripe vegetables, and wash and prepare them. He will probably be much more interested in eating what he has helped to grow. 5. Slip grated or diced vegetables into favorite foods. Try adding them to rice, cottage cheese, cream cheese, guacamole, or even macaroni and cheese. 6. Steam your greens. They are much more flavorful and usually sweeter than when raw. 7. Using a small cookie cutter, cut the vegetables into interesting shapes. 8. Give your youngster acknowledgement and praise, even if he takes only one bite of something new. For example: "It's great that you tried the green beans!" 9. Let go of the power struggle. You can't force your youngster to do anything, especially eat, so just stop trying. Simply offer him nutritious, varied foods – and eat them yourself. He can have his, or not, but you're showing him how. When moms and dads demand that their children eat certain foods, they're attaching negative connotations to it. Pretty soon, the struggle is worse. Put the food on his plate, but if it stays there, don't push him – and don't stress over it. 10. Offer alternatives if your youngster won't eat meat. The texture turns off many Aspergers kids, and that's fine. Your youngster can still get all the protein he needs from the following: cheese or even meat-filled ravioli (the pasta exterior goes a long way for meat-haters) hard-boiled eggs or any egg dish his favorite crackers dipped in hummus or spread with peanut (or nut) butter mini-tuna melts nachos with beans and cheese yogurt, cheese, or cottage cheese 11. Offer choices that don't matter. You may face stubborn insistence that toast have a corner unbuttered to avoid messy hands, or that cereal be served only in a square bowl, or that nothing gets touched by the preparer of the food. While this kind of behavior is seemingly ridiculous, it's typical of Aspergers kids. Offering your youngster a limited choice is often enough to end the power struggle. But make your rules clear: "At home, you can choose your plate, but when we're eating out, you have to use whatever plates they have." 12. You may have to stick with one basic food color. Aspergers children may like a lot of colors in their pictures, but not always on their plates. When he only wants white foods, for example, consider: fruit smoothies (blend a banana with vanilla yogurt) half white-/half whole-wheat (make toast and sandwiches in fun shapes using cookie cutters) mac and cheese made with whole-wheat (or whole-wheat blend) macaroni oven-baked fries (half regular and half sweet potato to ease your youngster into the idea of trying other spuds) 13. Be creative with the veggies. Hating vegetables is the most common picky-eater problems with Aspergers kids. To convince your child that eating vegetables is not poisonous, try one or more of the following: carrot slices and baby corn are a good start toward more serious veggie consumption lettuce wraps (use a filling he'll eat, like turkey or cream cheese, and wrap it in a romaine lettuce leaf) put a plate of raw veggies next to a sure thing (e.g., grilled cheese sandwich) to lure your child into eating at least one bite thinly sliced veggies stir-fried with teriyaki sauce with a little chicken and rice try dressing (e.g., honey mustard, ranch, ketchup, melted butter) with veggies for dipping veggie lasagna water chestnuts have little taste and can be a good stepping-stone to serious veggies zucchini muffins 14. Many Aspergers kids like to “nitpick” their way through food (i.e., a nibble here – a nibble there). Use an ice-cube tray, a muffin tin, or a compartmentalized dish, and put bite-size portions of colorful and nutritious foods in each section. Give these “finger foods” names in order to disguise how disgustingly healthy that may be, such as: egg canoes (hard- boiled egg wedges) cheese building blocks carrot swords (cooked and thinly sliced) broccoli trees (steamed broccoli florets) banana wheels avocado boats (a quarter of an avocado) apple moons (thinly sliced) Place the food on an easy-to-reach table. As your Aspie makes his rounds through the house, he can stop, sit down, nibble a bit, and, when he's done, continue on his way. These foods have a table-life of an hour or two. 15. A veggie pizza is one the most cleaver ways to disguise healthy foods. We tried a spinach-cheese pizza with our 5-year-old several years ago. We knew he probably wouldn’t even touch it – but guess what? It is his favorite food item now! Go figure :) More resources for parents of children and teens with High-Functioning Autism and Asperger's: ==> How To Prevent Meltdowns and Tantrums In Children With High-Functioning Autism and Asperger's ==> Parenting System that Significantly Reduces Defiant Behavior in Teens with Aspergers and High-Functioning Autism ==> Launching Adult Children with Asperger's and High-Functioning Autism: Guide for Parents Who Want to Promote Self-Reliance ==> Teaching Social Skills and Emotion Management to Children and Teens with Asperger's and High-Functioning Autism ==> Parenting Children and Teens with High-Functioning Autism: Comprehensive Handbook ==> Unraveling The Mystery Behind Asperger's and High-Functioning Autism: Audio Book ==> Highly Effective Research-Based Parenting Strategies for Children with Asperger's and High-Functioning Autism

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Is your Aspergers child damaging her eyes from excessive computer use? Computer vision syndrome (CVS) is a condition resulting from looking at the computer screen for lengthy, uninterrupted periods of time. And as most parents have discovered, their child with Aspergers or High-Functioning Autism loves to spend countless hours looking at the computer screen. Some symptoms of CVS include: blurred vision difficulty refocusing the eyes double vision dry eyes eye strain fatigue headaches irritated eyes neck pain polyopia redness in the eyes These symptoms can be further aggravated by improper lighting conditions (e.g., glare or bright overhead lighting, etc.) or air moving past the eyes (e.g., overhead vents, direct air from a fan, etc.). As a parent of a child with Aspergers or High-Functioning Autism, you may be encouraging your youngster to use the computer. A computer is often seen as a visually stimulating aid that will improve the youngster's hand-eye coordination skills and serve as a good learning tool. But parents need to know that their youngster runs the risk of developing CVS if he is allowed unlimited access to computers and video games. Computer use places too great a visual demand on the focusing muscles of the youngster's eyes, leading to a greater incidence of myopia (short-sightedness). So, parents should be aware that too prolonged computer use can contribute to an eyesight defect that traditionally has been seen as an inherited condition. Nowadays, most kids sit in front of a computer screen at home AND at school – every day! As a result, the good distance vision they were born with is being compromised. Research is discovering that it is a youngster's learning and play environment – not heredity – that is creating the rapid increase in myopia for these children. Some important factors in preventing or reducing the symptoms of CVS have to do with the computer and how it is used. This includes lighting conditions, chair comfort, location of reference materials, position of the monitor, and the use of rest breaks. Here are some things that parents can do to lessen the impact of computer use on their youngster's eyesight: 1. An Aspergers youngster tends to lose track of time when absorbed in activities on the computer. Many parents are guilty, too, of sitting at the computer for long periods. It is more damaging for your youngster's eyes, though, to do so. Monitor the time spent sitting in front of the screen, and make sure frequent breaks are taken. 2. Chairs should be comfortably padded and conform to the body. Chair height should be adjusted so your child’s feet rest flat on the floor. If the chair has arms, they should be adjusted to provide arm support while your child is typing. Wrists shouldn't rest on the keyboard when typing. 3. We’ve looked at the impact of excessive computer use on young eyes, but it isn't just the eyes which are affected. If the workstation area where your youngster works is not ergonomically sound, then problems with the neck, shoulder and back are likely to occur. These problems can be resolved by making sure that (a) your youngster looks down slightly to view the screen from the optimal distance of eighteen inches or so, (b) the keyboard is easily reached, and (c) your youngster's feet rest comfortably on the floor. 4. If there is no way to minimize glare from light sources, consider using a screen glare filter. These filters decrease the amount of light reflected from the screen. 5. Avoid the risk of kids straining their eyes by making sure that the ambient lighting in the room is not too bright. As a rule of thumb, it should be about half that of the computer screen. So, pull down the blinds and avoid harsh lighting in the room itself. Glare from the monitor can also be a problem for young eyes, so it is wise to fit an anti-glare screen for your youngster's comfort. You should also check that there is a strong contrast between the background and the text, as well as making sure that the text size and color do not cause unnecessary eyestrain. 6. Many moms and dads do not realize that eyesight can be tested from a very early age. Every youngster should have an eye examination before starting school, but preferably by the age of three. The eye exam should be thorough, and include testing for near and distance vision. 7. Most computer junkies find it more comfortable to view a computer when the eyes are looking downward. Optimally, the computer screen should be 15 to 20 degrees below eye level (about 4 or 5 inches) as measured from the center of the screen and 20 to 28 inches from the eyes. 8. Observe your youngster's behavior closely. Even if they are experiencing problems with their vision, kids are less likely to consider it abnormal. Excessive eye rubbing, eye redness and a reluctance to use the computer as much as usual can all point to eye fatigue. 9. Position the computer screen to avoid glare, particularly from overhead lighting or windows. Use blinds or drapes on windows and replace the light bulbs in desk lamps with bulbs of lower wattage. 10. Reference materials should be located above the keyboard and below the monitor. If this is not possible, a document holder can be used beside the monitor. The goal is to position the documents so you do not need to move your head to look from the document to the screen. 11. Regular eye examinations and proper viewing habits can help to prevent or reduce the development of the symptoms associated with CVS. 12. Take your youngster to see a specialist trained to recognize the symptoms of CVS in kids. A recent study has shown that one in four kids who use computers require corrective glasses to enable them to work comfortably and safely in front of the screen. Under-developed eyes can experience the same sorts of problems as older (40+) eyes when looking from the computer screen to the keyboard and back again. In both cases, the focusing muscles tire more easily. This is because the monitor is viewed at an intermediate distance (i.e., neither near nor far), which is a distance we don't use very often. Specially-designed computer glasses compensate for this by incorporating a larger intermediate viewing zone within the lens and so alleviating the strain on the eye muscles. Eyestrain and blurring are eliminated. 13. To minimize your child’s chances of developing dry eye when using a computer, remind him to make an effort to blink frequently. Blinking keeps the front surface of your eye moist. 14. To prevent eyestrain, have your child rest his eyes when using the computer for long periods. Resting for 15 minutes after two hours of continuous computer use is a good policy. Also, for every 20 minutes of computer viewing, look into the distance for 20 seconds to allow the eyes a chance to refocus. 15. Use timers that automatically shut down the computer after the allotted time has passed for your child to be on the computer Computer vision syndrome can pose both a short and long-term risk to your youngster's eyesight. If you follow the advice above, you can be sure that you're protecting her precious asset. More resources for parents of children and teens with Asperger's and High-Functioning Autism: ==> Preventing Meltdowns and Tantrums in Asperger's Children ==> Discipline for Defiant Asperger's Teens ==> Teaching Social Skills and Emotion Management ==> Launching Adult Children with Asperger's: How to Promote Self-Reliance ==> Parenting Children and Teens with High-Functioning Autism ==> AudioBook: Unraveling The Mystery Behind Asperger’s and High-Functioning Autism

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