I NEVER in a million years thought this would be the first post I wrote about our adoption story. I always assumed it would be the story about how Cope came into our lives. But, that story isn't quite ready to be put out into the world because while going through this journey we have learned that an adoption story has so many sides to it that it takes time and heart to get that out into the world. I have been having a lot of thoughts this week about women in my shoes who have struggled with infertility and
Adopting after infertility is a path that many hopeful parents choose. Get tips on how to know if it's the right path for you.
If you've decided to grow your family through adoption but arent' sure where to start, here's a 10-part guide to help you begin the process to adopt.
I NEVER in a million years thought this would be the first post I wrote about our adoption story. I always assumed it would be the story about how Cope came into our lives. But, that story isn't quite ready to be put out into the world because while going through this journey we have learned that an adoption story has so many sides to it that it takes time and heart to get that out into the world. I have been having a lot of thoughts this week about women in my shoes who have struggled with infertility and
We were excited to begin Foster Care Class. Classes were two nights a week for 3 hours and I believe they were for 4 weeks. My husband and I learned so much about foster care during those classes.
"I’ve heard it. You’ve heard it. Maybe you’ve said it. You know someone. I know someone. Maybe you know 10 someones. And yet saying it is seriously not cool."
An iconic staple of the Notafictionalmum adoption sweatshirt range; this super soft and cosy sweatshirt is handstamped with 'Not Showing Still Glowing Society' on front - because all Mummies-to-be and parents-in-waiting deserve to be celebrated. Vegan and fair wear approved. Notafictionalmum is the UK’s first - and original - adoption and infertility clothing brand. We are a small business built on love and strive for equality and inclusivity for ALL families. 10% of all Notafictionalmum sales profits will be donated directly to Barnardo's UK. Premium quality, striking mustard coloured sweatshirt. NFM logo on reverse neckline in black also. Unisex fit, multiple gorgeous colourway options available. 85% Ringspun organic cotton 15% polyester 1x1 ribbed neck collar Self fabric half moon at back of neck Brushed sweatshirt Wash on 30, do not tumble dry, please take care not to iron the embellishments. All sized clothing boxes and mailing bags are made purely from recycled materials and are fully recyclable. Even the tissue paper is PH neutral, recycled and vegan friendly. *Notafictionalmum is a trademarked name all designs are therefore branded
What is embryo adoption? This somewhat new way of conceiving is common after infertility. Learn how embryo adoption works and if it's right for your family.
Sheldon and Katie were an incredible joy to work with. I've especially loved watching the beautiful way they have loved their birth mother and developed a relationship with her. Today Katie shares how sweet Grace came to their family and the openness and love they have for her birth mother. It took three years of an infertility journey to prepare both of our hearts for adoption. Katie always had adoption on her heart from a young age. It took four failed IUIs and a failed IVF to finally get Sheldon on board the adoption train, knowing that adoption was our only ticket to parenthood. When we finally were homestudy ready in May, we tried matching with an expectant mom through an online website, which would have saved us thousands of dollars. However, after several situations that didn’t work out (and what we believe to have been scammers), we knew we needed to use any agency to help match us, and then help us navigate our adoption. A friend who used Christian Adoption Consultants before, recommended us to them, which is how we met Susan. In late August, we were active with CAC. We received five no’s between September and January, before we were matched with our expectant mom in the beginning on February. For some, the concept of an open adoption can be very intimidating, confusing, anxiety producing and may cause worry about what the future looks like for your child. The threat of you not being enough for them always—because their birth family will be in their life, may be present. However for us, when we began our adoption journey last May, we knew we wanted to have an open relationship with our future adopted child’s birth mother and family. It was important to us for them to know that we valued them, desired a relationship and love them unconditionally for their selfless gift; we felt we could do that continuously throughout our child’s life by maintaining a relationship with them. We were matched with you young woman who desired an open relationship with us as well. Upon our match, we had the unique opportunity to meet with our birth mom about two weeks prior to our baby, Grace Riayn, arriving. We flew from Pennsylvania to Florida to avoid the awkwardness that could have been present by meeting on delivery day. While we visited with our expectant mom, we decided to have a photographer capture the three of us together before Gracie’s arrival. We feel blessed to have had this opportunity and that our daughter’s expectant mom wanted was excited about the photographs too. Our unconditional love for Gracie’s biological family has had a profound impact on her birth mom. We knew all along that she was making different choices than we would. We did not shame her birth mom for her choices that could have impacted the immediate comfort and future of our daughter. Early on, we made the choice to love her unconditionally. We knew that by judging her, by shaming her, would not be productive for our desired life-long relationship nor would it help in Gracie’s birth mom’s recovery and coping with the circumstances surrounding the adoption. Our message to other adoptive parents is this: live with hope and don’t be scared of the unknown. There were a lot of things that could have turned us off from this adoption if we lived our life out of fear but we trusted God’s plan for Gracie and for us. We are so glad we did—she is perfect for our family and has made the pain of infertility completely disappear.
The story that I am sharing below was sent to me by the author back in July, and I am not going to lie; it took me weeks to finally sit down and read it. But friends, once I did, I knew I had to sh…
As a childless woman, what is my purpose? Why did God give me this tremendous love for children that seems to have no place to go...
Embryo adoption is a little known or understood process, but more families are taking this option and giving life to children who otherwise may have been permanently frozen or destroyed. These human embryos are the result of an infertility procedure called in vitro fertilization, which involves the harvesting of sperm and eggs from parents and […]
Infertility is a very hard and sometimes lonely road to be on. I have been there for over 15 years now and experienced loss as well. I wish I would have had a planner like this early on in our journey. Even though now my "natural" door has been shut, I still want others in this journey to not give up hope on Motherhood! We ended up adopting 3 from foster care since 2018, so if you are good at math that is 3 kids ages 5 and under! So no matter what your journey to motherhood looks like never give up hope!!"Blossom" is more than just a planner—it's a companion and ally on your fertility journey. With its user-friendly design, comprehensive features, and compassionate approach, "Blossom" empowers you to take control of your fertility, cultivate hope, and embrace the beauty of your unique path to parenthood.
Synopsis Expand/Collapse Synopsis In a memoir with the power and resonance of The Year of Magical Thinking, and the quirky humor of Operating Instructions, one of the nation's preeminent writers on women's issues spins the astonishing story of her six-year journey to motherhood. Waiting for Daisy is about loss, love, anger and redemption. It's about doing all the things you swore you'd never do to get something you hadn't even been sure you wanted. It's about being a woman in a confusing, contradictory time. It's about testing the limits of a loving marriage. And it's about trying (and trying and trying) to have a baby. Orenstein's story begins when she tells her new husband that she's not sure she ever wants to be a mother; it ends six years later after she's done almost everything humanly possible to achieve that goal, from "fertility sex" to escalating infertility treatments to New Age remedies to forays into international adoption. Her saga unfolds just as professional women are warned by the media to heed the ticking of their biological clocks, and just as fertility clinics have become a boom industry, with over two million women a year seeking them out. Buffeted by one jaw-dropping obstacle after another, Orenstein seeks answers both medical and spiritual in America and Asia, along the way visiting an old flame who's now the father of fifteen, and discovering in Japan a ritual of surprising solace. All the while she tries to hold onto a marriage threatened by cycles, appointments, procedures and disappointments. Waiting for Daisy is an honest, wryly funny report from the front, an intimate page-turner that illuminates the ambivalence, obsession, and sacrifice that characterize so many modern women's lives.
In a lot of ways, infertility is inexplainable. If I thought I could make people understand what infertility is really like, this is what I would tell them.
"It was a deep pain, probably the deepest of my life. It wasn't supposed to be this way."
Each month I share some of the newly-published and soon-to-be-released books on infertility, family building, and related emotional, spiritual, or physical issues. I’ve only read the first book on the list (see my full review here), but I wanted to share the rest of them with you in case you might be interested. Walking Through […]
Our unisex-fit, super-soft Panel Approval Day adoption t-shirt is handstamped in beautiful, bright colours because; why not! It's the day you're told you're going to become a parent and that needs to be celebrated! Notafictionalmum is an original concept, an inclusive brand created for ALL families – adoptive, blended, LGBTQ+, generally beautiful. We are a small business built on love and strive for equality and inclusivity for ALL families. 10% of all Notafictionalmum sales profits will be donated directly to Barnardo's UK. No robots here! Every garment is carefully handstamped and packaged with love. 100% organic cotton Ribbed collar Taped neck Tubular body Twin needle sleeves and hem Wash at 30, do not tumble dry, take care not to iron the embellishments. All sized clothing boxes and mailing bags are made purely from recycled materials and are fully recyclable. Even the tissue paper is PH neutral, recycled and vegan friendly. *Notafictionalmum is a trademarked name all designs are therefore branded
Adoption starts from brokenness.My brokenness. That looked like an empty womb. Month after month, year after painful year, of seeing negative pregnancy tests. It was failed infertility treatments and a really broken heart and tired body.
Infertility can be a very isolating experience but so many go through it. Top infertility blog, A Slice of Style, features the most common questions asked while struggling with infertility. Click here now to read!
Welcome to Pink & Blues! This listing is for a high-resolution Printable support card. It's available as a 5x7 (folded) or 4x6 (folded). **Please read all of the below information before purchase. Please contact us with any questions.** **About this Card** Front of Card: "Happy Father's Day. I know this day is hard. I wish I could make it better. You may not be a dad(yet), but you are strong, you are amazing. and you are my hero." quote in blue font with light blue stripes. Inside of Card: Blank Back of Card: Pink & Blues logo **Included With Your Purchase: *Digital Download (Printable from your home or from any copy/print center): You will receive 1 printable, high-resolution PDF image of the 5x7 card and 1 of the 4x6 card. This price reflects the ability to print as many cards as you would like. Please note, this is not a physical print. You will receive a download link from Etsy after purchase. Nothing will be physically shipped to you. For printing, we suggest using a heavy card stock paper (60-80lbs) in bright white. This will ensure that you get a completed card that is similar to one that you would purchase in any store. **Terms of Use** You can print out the card as many times as you need with a digital file. You do not have permission to share, copy, modify or distribute the file.
How many times have you heard someone say admiringly “girlfriend is totally rocking that angry, bitter thing?” How ‘bout never? Lately, I’ve recognized bitterness in myself. It feels funny, like shoes that don’t fit but that I’m wearing anyway. I try to shrug off bitter. Sometimes I can, but it’s temporary. Bitterness sneaks back. Sometimes I...
There are some wonderful new books to encourage you while you wait. These are great reads during infertility, miscarriage, and baby loss.
While Elizabeth Katkin’s surrogacy story will unsettle some readers, the bioethical questions her book surfaces should trouble every American.
15 Bible verses to memorize when you're struggling with all of the emotions infertility -- jealousy, despair, and doubt.
Our third son, Cru, was born last week and we are thrilled to have him in our arms. You can read about our past adoption experiences in these blog posts. For this third adoption, we used Faithful Adoption Consultants again. I highly recommend them or a similar route if speed is a priority to you. We went active around Valentines Day, were matched five weeks later, and held our son two weeks after that! You can also follow my personal IG account along here. Many of you have asked for adoption...
My husband and I are infertility survivors. After learning that our mortal bodies were not able to create children, our hearts began to turn toward adoption. This decision came with serious prayer, contemplation, and faith. For me, there was even some healthy mourning for the dream of being able to physically carry and deliver a child.
5 IVF mistakes you should avoid making during your IVF cycle.
Lifetime's adoption website includes our blog about adoption. Get info on birth parents, what to expect in open adoption, and more!
This beautiful tee comes embroidered with all the colours of the rainbow, making the oh so true message behind stand out, just the way it should. Every garment is carefully handstamped and packaged with love. Notafictionalmum is the UK’s first - and original - adoption and infertility clothing brand. We are a small business built on love and strive for equality and inclusivity for ALL families. 10% of all Notafictionalmum sales profits will be donated directly to Barnardo's UK. *White tee up to age three comes with side poppers along along the left hand side neckline. *Notafictionalmum is a trademarked name all designs are therefore branded NFM branding on the reverse neckline in sky blue 100% organic cotton tee Enzyme washed Ribbed collar Twin needle sleeves and hem Wash on 30, do not tumble dry, please take care not to iron the embellishments. All sized clothing boxes and mailing bags are made purely from recycled materials and are fully recyclable. Even the tissue paper is PH neutral, recycled and vegan friendly.
Infertility and trying to conceive is such a heavy topic. There’s dread, fear, worry, anxiety, struggle, pain, loss, financial hardship, no control, broken dreams, etc. Blogs and blogs full of pain. There isn’t much out there on the gifts of infertility. But there is nothing in this life good or ba
This weekend marked a big milestone in our pregnancy. We hit the third trimester and if my incompetent cervix decided to give out right now, baby has a 95% chance of survival. Lord knows we are not through with this pregnancy yet, but God willing, we are in the final stretches and the thought of having a baby in our arms is quickly becoming more of a reality! And now that we are closing in on the end of our pregnancy and the beginning of parenthood, I felt compelled to write about my pregnancy guilt. As some of you I know, Matt and I struggled with infertility. Surprisingly, my infertility had nothing to do with my cervical cancer. On top of having 80% of my cervix removed, I had other issues... Go figure. My body does not naturally produce enough progesterone to let my eggs mature long enough before they are released from my ovaries. In other words, every month that I cycled my body released an egg that could never become fertilized. A few thousand dollars and a couple years later, we had found the source of our infertility AND we were able to treat it. We started the wonder drug Clomid and we became pregnant during our first month of treatment! According to my OBG, a normal woman's progesterone levels post ovulation are normally higher than 15nmol/l - we will just say "15" because I don't have the medical degree to can explain what "nmol/l" even means. Ideally, they are higher than 30, but 15 does the trick as well. So, prior to even considering clomid as an option, I had my progesterone levels checked. The first test I was a 15.5! I passed. Sort of. 15 was too low to say that I was actually ovulating a healthy egg. So my OBG wanted to get another count. The second test I was an 8. My 8 meant that I ovulated a premature egg into a premature uterus. Even in a perfect uterus with perfect sperm (which my husband is proud to have) :) my imperfect egg would never turn into a baby. Thus, the clomid was prescribed. One month after I started my clomid cycle, I was pregnant! The clomid had done it's job- my brain had been tricked into thinking that it wasn't getting ANY progesterone, so it made extra. My progesterone level the month I was on clomid was 44! We only told family and a few close friends before I hit 12 weeks just to be sure that our little buddy was going to stick around. And now, 28 weeks into the pregnancy, with the lords help we will have a healthy baby sometime in the next 3 months! I cannot explain the happiness that is in our hearts knowing that we will soon get to meet this little baby. We have prepped a nursery, we are constantly daydreaming about our future roping/fishing/road-tripping buddy, and we are so SO blessed to have been given this pregnancy, this life. And yet there is a part of me that feels guilty. If you read this blog post, you know how Matt and I felt about Gods plan and infertility treatments. We trusted that since we could not get pregnant alone, we had been given the chance to use medical assistance to see if pregnancy was still in store for us. And we knew that if it wasn't in our plan, no amount of drugs or treatments would give us a baby. But.... It was in our plan - thank you Jesus - and we will soon be expecting a baby! But now ... What do I say to my friends who still are unable to conceive? I used to be the woman listening to others tell them "don't worry, it'll happen" and "just keep practicing" and "my best friends - sisters - ex fiances - cousin couldn't get pregnant either" ..... So I obviously don't say those things... I never ask when someone is going to start having kids as you never know if that question will hurt them. I try not to give any advice to women who want a baby but seem so desperately far from it - I always just say that I will pray for them, that I will pray that The Lord will bless them with a child. I try to be sensitive of others and I always remind myself that there are SO many women who struggle with infertility. And now, I'm in the OTHER category. IM the pregnant one. I'm no longer the one struggling with infertility. But we DID struggle with it! I have the medical bills, lab results and X-rays to prove it! I still remember the pain and the frustration and the anger and the sadness of not getting a positive test. And yet now, I know the joy and the love and the happiness and the excitement of getting a positive test. I'm not a woman who is fertile, and yet I am no longer a woman who is infertile. And I have struggled with this. And I have guilt. I have guilt that maybe it came too easy - one little pill and BAM, all my problems were fixed. What about others that go through IUI and then IVF, and then another IVF.... Or the ones that have miscarriage after miscarriage. And what about the women that go through all the treatments possible just to endure a failed adoption? I have guilt that when I mention my pregnancy or upload my bump pictures to Facebook or blog about the magical kicks in my belly, that other women feel like im gloating, like I'm rubbing it in. Or that others just assume my journey to pregnancy was an easy one, even an unexpected one. I have guilt that I've surprisingly had an easy pregnancy so far. My doctors kept a very close eye on me, I had vaginal exams every 2 weeks starting at 12 weeks along, and I was encouraged to have as little activity as possible. And here I am, 28 weeks along, no complications. No crazy morning sickness. No bleeding. I'm healthy! But even with this guilt, I have not downplayed my excitement, nor have I hidden my pregnancy from anyone. I know that this baby is here because it was supposed to bless our lives! We prayed and God answered... But it was more than an answer, it was already predetermined! He knew it would happen, we just had to be patient. And because I know that this baby is supposed to be mine, I am not afraid to show this belly off and I am so overjoyed to have this pregnancy smile on my face. I don't want to offend others, but I also want to relish in this pregnancy because this baby is such a blessing, such a miracle. I want to share Gods blessing and I want others to see our joy. This isn't the kind of guilt that makes me feel sorry or apologetic. It's the kind of guilt that creates awkward conversations between friends or stares in the doctors waiting room. It's hard to be guilty for something you know is right, for something you wanted so much. Normally, guilt comes with regret. I do not regret treating my fertility. I do not regret the pain of the treatments, nor the deficit in our bank account. Guilt usually also comes with sadness. I am not sad that I am soon to be a mother - it is something I've daydreamed about for years. And I have enough faith in God to say that I'm not sad for other women who are struggling with their fertility. I feel empathy, but no sadness. We are all on our own journeys and God has made these journeys what they are for a reason, for a reason far beyond our knowledge and understanding. Sure, you can say that the only reason I am saying this is because I am pregnant, because I'm going to be a mother. But if clomid was never to have worked for us, or if I had miscarried, or even if this pregnancy doesn't go as planned, I would have and will still trust in The Lord that he is looking out for me, that he knows what is best for me and that he will only put circumstances in my life that will uplift Him and that will give me hope and will give me a future. I know that I shouldn't feel guilty for becoming pregnant. And I know that most everyone is happy for Matt and I. I guess I just want others to know that once an "infertile woman" becomes pregnant, her worries and her sadness don't just go away. She will be so excited for her pregnancy, but she will also feel guilt. She will be thinking about all the other women she met on her infertility journey and she will be hoping that everyone is as blessed as her to one day carry a health baby, to one day find a treatment that works. If you read this and are struggling with infertility, please look at my belly bump as a symbol of hope! I'm like you - I've struggled - but now it's my turn to celebrate. And I hope you celebrate with me, and I will pray for your turn to come in Gods timing. Infertility changes you forever. Pregnancy, babies, children, families - it's all different now in my eyes. God has truly blessed us, and I will try to focus on that instead of the guilt that I sometimes feel. So here's to my turn. And I'll be praying for yours.
The perfect announcement adoption Tee for those who had to fight to get there. As always this design can be printed with NFM'S signature back of the tee feature to promote online anonymity. Notafictionalmum is the UK’s first - and original - infertility and adoption clothing brand. We are a small business built on love and strive for equality and inclusivity for ALL families. 10% of all Notafictionalmum sales profits will be donated directly to Barnardo's UK. No robots here! Every garment is carefully handstamped and packaged with love. 100% organic rings-pun cotton Classic fit 3mm-2 needle top stitch Vegan and fair ware approved *Notafictionalmum is a trademarked name all designs are therefore branded
An introduction to my 31 Days of Scripture During Infertility series
A reader asks a question about what to do when your husband doesn't understand infertility and the emotions is causes.
'Fight Like A Woman' handstamped adoption t-shirt in red on a beautifully soft white tee made from 100% organic cotton. Available in matching mini sizes too! No robots here! Every garment is carefully handstamped and packaged with love. Notafictionalmum is an original concept, an inclusive brand created for ALL families – adoptive, blended, LGBTQ+, generally beautiful. We are a small business built on love and strive for equality and inclusivity for ALL families. 10% of all Notafictionalmum sales profits will be donated directly to Barnardo's UK. NFM branding stamped on the reverse neckline in red Taped neck Tubular body Twin needle stitching Wash in 30, do not tumble dry, please take care not to iron the embellishments. All sized clothing boxes and mailing bags are made purely from recycled materials and are fully recyclable. Even the tissue paper is PH neutral, recycled and vegan friendly. *Notafictionalmum is a trademarked name all designs are therefore branded
Infertility comments: why are people so nasty and mean?
Hey infertility fam, I know this sucks. I am here with you. I create all of my designs myself because I wanted something to wear while going through infertility. I keep all my infertility ladies in mind with each design and I hope that you can wear it with pride. I know how hard this road is, and I want you to know that I am sending all the sticky baby dust your way with each an every order! You've got this! This classic unisex jersey short sleeve tee fits like a well-loved favorite. Soft cotton and quality print make users fall in love with it over and over again. These t-shirts have-ribbed knit collars to bolster shaping. The shoulders are tapered for a better fit over time. Dual side seams hold the garment's shape for longer. .: Made with 100% Airlume combed and ring-spun cotton, a lightweight fabric (4.2 oz/yd² (142 g/m²)) that is easy to layer, breathable. Perfect for active and leisure wear. .: The retail fit that is perfect for casual and semi-formal settings. The crew neckline adds a classic, neat style that's perfect for accessorizing. .: Bella+Canvas manufactures all its products in the US and internationally in humane, no-sweat-shop, sustainable way and is part of the Fair Labor Association as well as Platinum WRAP certified. .: The tear-away label minimizes skin irritations. .: Fabric blends: Ash and Heather Prism colors - 99% Airlume combed and ring-spun cotton, 1% polyester; Heather colors - 52% cotton, 48% polyester; Athletic Heather and Black Heather - 90% cotton, 10% polyester.
