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As you all know by now, one of my favorite areas to write content for is human resources. I started my love affair with human resources content last year when I wrote a few pieces for the excellent company, Aventr, which is an employee engagement Slack integration. Since then I have written content
Ragan's Communications Week runs Nov. 12-15.
In the first of two articles, HR influencer Dave Ulrich and Joe Grochowski, managing director of The RBL Institute, show how to audit the effectiveness of your HR department
Interpersonal skills are very vital in your workplace. It decides how good you are beside your talent, skills, and performance. If you don't play well and get along well with your co-workers and teams, it's going to be a tough work environment for you. Interpersonal Skills also reflects your confidence level to others.You are not the only people in the workplace, so that's why it is essential to develop good soft skills so that people feel good and welcomed when they are near you. Being a good team player, taking responsibilities, being optimistic, considering others as your own are few of what we call the Good Interpersonal Skills in a person.How to Improve Interpersonal Skills article, we like to put some light on the importance of having good interpersonal skills and tips to enhance interpersonal skills naturally.Interpersonal skills – What are they in Short? Interpersonal communications and skills are reciprocations of good behaviors, traits, attitudes, and how good you are with people and how good you can get with people. If you want to understand good interpersonal skills in quick short points when it comes to the workplace, it can be explained as:1. Interpersonal skills are essential for a self-confidence boost.2. They complement your skills.3. Taking Responsibility and Accountability are part of it.4. Being Optimistic5. Good communication with people to avoid misunderstandings and bad interpretations. 6. Very good at team-playing.7. Welcoming others. Giving the space they need.8. Good listening9. Taking initiatives when required. 10. Good Verbal Interactions with People11. Flexibility, Not being Stubborn always12. Looking for 'what's good for the team' instead of 'what's good for them'.13. Happy with a smile14. Giving constructive-criticisms instead of deliberate disregard of people's work. 15. Good body language16. Good Emotional Intelligence17. Good Decision making and Problem Solving18. Crediting and Complementing Others for their efforts19. Letting them grow along with you.20. Maintaining good-rapport with fellow mates. 21. Showing Empathy & Compassion. Understanding that other people are like you and facing problems like you. 22. Un-compromising Loyalty and honesty23. Proper Self-respect, along with good respect for others.24. Friendly attitude25. Resolving conflicts amicably. Given these points, by now, you should have formed what an effective Interpersonal Skill is. Make a note of it if you are looking for a job or focused on your career so much. Likewise, these are also for those who are trying to make their mark in the professional world by stepping as a fresher. You need to enhance these above qualities. These are the interpersonal traits that your employers value in you upon hiring as well as during the hiring.Why are Interpersonal Skills Important for your Growth in the Workplace?Generally speaking, Good interpersonal skills are essential for both professional and personal life. But since you spend most of your time in your workplace from 9-5, the skills become even more essential. The importance of good soft-skills and interpersonal skills can be summarized as:1.) Effective Interpersonal Skills lies in good verbal communications, which in turn solves most of the problems. 2.) With good interpersonal skills comes good diplomacy, which helps you make conversations smoother. Both sides get to go home happy. 3.) Resolving conflicts in a friendly manner will make you stand-out as you become this good problem-solver the people want. 4.) Good listening will make people feel that you are being good support there. Listening to people about what they are trying to say is good for gaining trust. 5.) It brings trust in you from clients, business contacts, and bosses. 6.) Treating your team with respect in return gains more respect and trust from them. 7.) Your confidence will be boosted tremendously. 8.) It enhances your good-will and personality. 9.) You can develop the key skills needed for good decision-making and conflict-resolving.10.) Good interpersonal skill builds team dynamics. People will feel comfortable having you.11.) Good Interpersonal Skills will form the basic qualities of achievers. 12.) It will open the door to good opportunities.13.) People will look up to you. 14.) People are attracted to people with a positive mental attitude.15.) Being good with people in your workplace will give you peace, a calm mind, and good productivity. 16.) People with good interpersonal skills make wonderful managers, team-leads, initiators, or someone good in a management hierarchy.17.) Encouraging people to give their best brings a feeling of happiness.18.) Inspiring other people to give their best will always achieve good-will. Having said about what interpersonal skills are and the advantages we get out of it, we shall now move in the third part of the article to discuss essential tips and ideas to build your interpersonal skills. It is also important to note that it all comes down to self-awareness and practice. If you know yourself better, your positives, negatives, things you can improve, and the like, it becomes easy to teach skills that are needed explicitly to you. Here are a few important ways that will help you build these skills: 20 Tips for building and improving your Interpersonal Skills 1. Be a good listener – If people come to you, give space and listen. At times, people just want to express, and they don't even bother about solutions form you. They want a good listener. Be a good listener. 2. Accept People – Not everyone is like you, so try to accept people for who they are. You will get a good perspective so that you will know how to handle them. Instead of judging, you can get to know people. A new member of the team needs good welcome and acceptance. If there's an uncomfortable person in your team, invite them and make them comfortable. Struggling people, be it professionally or personally, needs more support and acceptance from colleagues. The point is, be good to everyone around you. This aspect is an essential interpersonal skill. 3. Be the Happy person – We all love a happy person. It's good to see them and be with them. So be that happy person. Good body language, humor, kind heart, good-will, a smile, optimistic approaches, being self-happy are wonderful personalities that attract people. 4. Don’t be a Complainer – Don't whine or complain about other people's work or behaviors. If you can do something positive about it, try it. If you don't have anything good to say about them, it's okay. Circumstances and situations change people. From their perspective, it can look good, but for you, it can look bad. But, it doesn't mean you can speak about their negatives to others. Stop the habit of blaming, complaining, gossiping, and bad-mouthing about people and your workplace as well. 5. Encourage People – Be a mentor to people who are struggling to land their feet. Encourage people to do their best and bring out the best in them. If you are new to your office, join hands with people who are new like you. They will have fear, hesitations, and other emotional roller coaster rides like every other fresher. Encourage them. Support them as you grow. It will gain you more respect. 6. Be Positive – A positive attitude is all it takes. A positive person almost attracts everyone around them. They have their happy place where everyone wants to join. Accepting persons, optimistic persons, and good communicators are people who have admirable interpersonal skills. 7. Good communication is a must – If you want to avoid conflicts, misunderstandings, and wrong portrayal of what you are trying to say, good communication is essential. Good communications have even sealed the deal in most cases. That's why good verbal, non-verbal communications are an effective Interpersonal skill that people should build. 8. Let go of the Ego – Ego spoils everything. Let go of it. Holding on to anger, ego, and hate deprive your happiness, well-being, and productivity. It's a golden rule in building good interpersonal skills. Don't let your ego cloud your judgments, relationships, and good manners. And remember, the workplace is filled with people who don't know you well. The next time you act out of anger or ego, he/she may not be the friend/family who understands you. It complicates the workplace for you. 9. Appreciating Others – Appreciating people for their efforts is a wonderful quality for having good interpersonal skills. No matter the result, just go and appreciate people around you for their efforts, for their trying and performance. Thank them for their contribution to the team, even if it is small. Appreciations whenever and wherever possible from you is important. 10. Constructive Criticism –On a positive note, it will make them work better and change their mistakes. On the negative note, it demotivates people and decreases productivity. The way you say whatever you have to say matters the most. 11. Team Building – It is the most important quality you need in your workplace. Make your team an inviting place for everyone. Welcome, everyone, to your team. Don't make the new addition to your team as an outsider. It's a bad interpersonal skill you should avoid. Inspire a good team-spirit in your team. Encourage them to speak freely and say what they have to say. Instead, don't make your team a 'chain-of-command' type but make it an 'everyone's equal' type. People will look up to you in your team. 12. Taking Initiatives – Take initiatives in helping. If your co-worker, if held up with tons of work, help them with things that are within your reach and time. If it's a meeting or discussions, participate actively. 13. Accepting the Blame, Taking Responsibility – Taking the blame for mistakes done is good, whereas pointing fingers on someone is not good. Being a team takes collective responsibility. But, if it is you who made the mistake and has nothing to do with the team, then take the blame. 14. Be Honest – Honesty is a big personality. Being honest is important. It does have positives and negatives, but being honest and loyal is a wonderful interpersonal skill. People can get inspired from it. 15. Speak Up – Share your opinions and thoughts with your team. Be interactive. 16. Good Verbal Communication – It has the power to solve any troubles. It can bring people together, teams together, and even concerns together. An important interpersonal skill that you have to have is good verbal communication. Talk, convey clearly, and express your thoughts all with a positive tone. It is a good practice. Employers appreciate people who are good communicators and problem-solvers. 17. Tolerance & Patience – Emotional Intelligence plays an important role here. If you can understand people, everything becomes easy. Put them in their shoes or at least try to. 18. Respect – Self-respect is very important. At the same time, respect others. He/She is very much the same individual like you who deserves to be treated well and respected. 19. Socialize well – No one likes a grumpy face. Be happy. Socialize well. You spend most of your time with people in your office, so socialize with them. Get along well. Have fun. 20. Live and Let Live – Grow and let other people grow, as well. Even if you don't practice any of the above, just the habit of 'Live and Let Live' covers it all. Those are the people who will like to see other people grow to like them. They will not hinder anybody's performance in any way. Final thoughts:We hope that this article about Interpersonal Skills, what do they mean, why they are important, and steps to build interpersonal skills will be of help to you. You don't have to spend time and effort. Just see clearly, and you will find that these tips are basic qualities that everyone should possess. Interpersonal Skills are just fancy words to cover these basic personalities and characteristics that every person should cultivate as they grow.
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Ok readers out there, it's time to get real with you about myself, my challenging students, and what I have done to change student behaviors lately. Let me start by saying, I am patient. I am calm. I can count on one hand the number of times I have actually been angry in the last year. I love working with first graders and have a special place in my heart for students with special needs, learning disabilities, and ADHD. However, the one thing that can get under my skin like nothing else is an intentionally disruptive and defiant child. You know, the one that you ask to sit down who looks you in the eye and does the opposite. Or the one who plays their desk like a drum with a pencil (while yelling "I don't know how to do it") after you've given directions and modeled 3 times? The one who is ALWAYS seeking your attention, but not in a good way. Grr! Last week I have to admit that I nearly lost my mind. Tuesday was a rough day. Like, my body was physically shaking I was so upset and filled with adrenaline. It started like any day with one particular child constantly interrupting, wandering the room, refusing to complete tasks, and being all around disruptive. I had tried a token system, staying firm, staying calm, nothing seemed to be able to manage this child. After he tore up my room for over an hour while we were waiting for his parents to get there, I said to myself "This isn't worth it. I'm not able to teach. He is ONE child. What about the rest?" And was about ready to resign. Once I got home and collected myself, I knew quitting wasn't actually in my heart. I was just overwhelmed. I immediately started researching ways to help attention seeking children. Even though I felt like I was already doing many of the things they suggested, I had to dig deep and keep trying. Here is what I've done based on the research. So far, it has made a drastic improvement. Was it a perfect week? No. Have the child and I both left school each day feeling much better and seeing positive changes? Yes. So to me, it's a start. When babies are born they quickly learn that when they smile, learn something new, and show signs of love, they often get a positive response and attention from their parents. Sometimes this doesn't happen like when parents aren't around or are focused on something/someone else whether intentionally (neglect) or not (working, raising multiple kids, dealing with their own issues, etc.). This forces the child to resort to drastic measures (crying, hitting a sibling, getting into trouble) just to get noticed. After all, isn't some attention, even negative, better than feeling ignored? This research put my little guy's struggles into perspective for me. Basically, in his mind he is lacking a sense of security and attention/love. He was desperate for attention and boy was I giving it to him. Only I had been giving him negative attention despite my best efforts. It is very important to learn to ignore the behaviors that are negatively seeking attention (calling out, wandering, disruptive, etc.). It is hard, I'm not gonna lie! However, each time you bring attention to the behavior or redirect the child, you are giving them exactly what they want. Your time and focus. This is NOT what we want. We do not want them to keep learning that being disruptive is the way to get you to notice them. Please note, I am not saying ignore something like a physical fight or destroying property, etc. When something like this does happen you do need to address it. However, keep your interactions in a neutral tone (easier said then done, I know) and brief. For example, " We do not hit." Sit the child down, and walk away. Or, "It is not ok to break things." Pick up the item, and walk away. They will try to test you. Dig deep, stay calm and focus on not letting them get a rise out of you. You cannot get into an argument or turn a situation into a long discussion. Don't waste more of your classes time. If you need to walk them to their desk 20 times in a row then do it, do not say anything, avoid eye contact, and walk away. Eventually, the child will stay where you put them and will cool down. You can then address the problem in a calm way, on your own terms/timeline. Meanwhile, you have continued to give your full attention to the class and the teaching. If we are now ignoring the negative attention seeking behaviors, we must replace them. Remember, the whole reason the child is doing this is because somewhere deep down they are feeling ignored or unloved. The research suggests giving random attention throughout the day at a similar rate to their current attention seeking behaviors. For example, if they are trying to get your attention in a negative way once every 5 minutes at first, then you must replace this with some form of positive attention once every 5 minutes. This can be verbal praise, eye contact, a smile, a pat of the shoulder, a thumbs up, time with you, a quick chat with you checking in, etc. This attention is given when you see them on task, making good choices, or on the verge of a meltdown (catch and redirect before things escalate and negative attention is warranted). I spent the last few days really taking time to show this child love. Each morning I am checking in with him as soon as he walks in the door, asking about his night, setting a tone for a great day. Rather than hush the class during lunch so I can try to inhale some form of food, I've let them all just talk to me. I have given the child the chance to walk with me in line, and help me hold things. I have filled his mind with sincere praise and asked him to be a leader. I even sat with him for 5 minutes during indoor recess to color a Ninja Turtle picture. Did I have a thousand other things I needed to be doing? Yes, of course. But, these 5 minutes of quality time meant the world to both of us. I could see him as a little boy just wanting someone to color with him, rather than the child I had started dreading spending the day with earlier in the year. Many times, these attention seeking kids are smart kiddos! They know how to work the system, and us! They have had to learn to be this way. As teachers, we need to teach them that they also have the potential to be different. I started Wednesday morning by pulling my little guy aside and talking with him. I explained how sad I had felt the day before and how today I knew he was going to prove to himself, and me, that he could make better choices. I also let him know that if he was ever just feeling like he needed a hug, he could ask for one or just come get one. I told him that today I was going to take time for just me and him, as long as he did his part to help the class get their work done. I then gave him that time, just me and him. I explained that if he needed me, I would always be there for him but he did need to raise his hand like everyone else. I also promised to always come check on him, but that he also needed to give me time to help other kids too. Getting him to trust me will take time. It will also take time for our bond to grow. He needs to learn that I will come back to him, I will love him even if he has an off day, and that I will continue to push him to succeed because I see the potential in him. It may seem unfair to give so much attention to just one or two children, but remember, the goal is to limit their distractions and fill a void in their lives. Teaching the rest of your class will be much more manageable once these children are settled. Every day will not go smoothly. They will test your limits and call your bluffs. Dig deep and remember that this child needs you just as much as the rest of your students, if not more. Finally, know that one huge hug (practically tackle) on a Friday afternoon WILL change your life and bring you to tears. Your bond is beginning to grow, this child's trust of you is forming, and for possibly the first time, they have found a source of love, in YOU. What strategies have you found to work best with your attention seeking students? To share with a teacher friend who is having a tough time, Pin for Later
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