Kisses really mean love. When we kiss you goodnight, we told her, it leaves your cheek and travels straight into your heart. By Rosanne Ullman
I was supposed to do a pin yesterday, but I just couldn't. Instead I woke up with that all too familiar twinge of pain that makes me gasp and just about drop to the floor as my leg buckles underneath me upon standing. Not sure what led to the flare up this time, I try to remain positive and go about my day, but it's just not working. By the end of the day I've managed to get nothing done, couldn't work out, in fact I could barely walk. My gait was more like a staggering shuffle accompanied by a chorus of gasps and groans. What I hate about being in so much pain isn't so much not being able to do everyday activities, or even the fact that I can no longer do the things I love, I've become accustomed to that. The thing I hate most about it is all the stares and looks I get and the fact that I have had to rely on someone else to take care of me at times. I was doing so good recently, I don't want to go back to where I was before. I just can't handle that. Living with chronic pain is hard and there are others out there that know what I'm talking about when I say, "it's easy to become so consumed with the pain that you forget how to live." Struggling just to make it through each day, believing that you have to accustom yourself to living with the pain or never doing those things you love to do. It's wrong, just wrong. We can find ways to manage the pain or even fight it off so that we can get back to living life as it should be. It's not an easy road or a simple answer and kind of like rehab you have to admit you have a problem and want to fix it. It sounds stupid, I know. I mean who actually wants to live in pain? No one. It all comes down to that part where you get accustomed to the pain and because you thing you have tried everything, you think that this is the way it has to be so you stop trying, stop believing that you can live. I'm not saying you will live completely pain free every day because you won't. There will be flare-ups just like the one I am having now, but they will be less intense, shorter in duration and less frequent. While I let the depression and pain get to me yesterday, I worked today on getting better by fighting the pain and I'm ready now to let you all in on how I manage my pain so that after almost two years of debilitating pain and a lifetime of chronic pain I was able to go three months with no pain at all. I even started working out again and started bowling, something I never though I'd be able to do again. How to Manage Chronic Pain Step 1: Have a good cry, get it all out. Cry and scream out all the misery and pain. Just don't give up. Never surrender to the pain, the second you do it's all over. Your pain is like your children, you have to set boundarys or they will walk all over you. Step 2: After several years of living with chronic pain you will think that you have tried everything to rid yourself of the pain, but just trust me, you haven't. There is always another practitioner or doctor, chiropractor, massage therapist, acupuncturist, etc. They are not all created equal, some practitioners are better than others. Keep trying until you find one that resonates with you, helps you and then stick with it. Your pain will always be there lurking in the background and just when you least expect it it will pop out and trip you up. When this happens refer to step 1, then go see your practitioner for help. As a practioner myself, I know how to fix other people's pain, probably because I've experienced so much myself, but when it comes to my own pain I always seem to make it worse. When you are in that much pain all the time it messes with your mind and drives you crazy, making it hard to concentrate on the right thing to do for yourself. At these times I find it better to let someone else help me out of the hole. Then when I am feeling better, I take it upon myself, as should you, to continue self stretching, massage, and strengthening of my muscles to prevent future attacks. If you don't know what to do ask your practioner for a regimen of self-care to do at home. Step 3: Never stop moving, stay active. No matter how much it hurts, it will always get worse the second you stop moving. Please utilize some common sense here. Obviously if you are having a flare up take some time to recuperate. Also don't over do it. Stay active within reason. The point here is to keep up some level of activity, not plop down and spend the rest of your life in a chair or scooter. Lack of movement causes the muscles and tissues to seize up and/ or atrophy leading to more pain. This will also lead to buildup of blood and fluids in the lower body, i.e. pitting edema in the feet or restless leg syndrome just to name a few. Step 4: Start a regimen of exercise to build strength With a few bulging discs in my lower back I was having trouble walking. With the use of acupuncture and massage I finally got to the point where I could walk without a cane or crutches with minimal pain throughout the day and some pain at night. I became frustrated that every time I tried to workout as I had before my injury, it flared up my symptoms. Therefore, I decided that I needed to change the way I excercised to avoid future flare ups. If I couldn't work out my hips and back, I would then do only upper body workouts for now. I started doing push ups and planks. That's it. Low and behold within two weeks I was able to sleep through the night without pain and had absolutely no pain during the day. Amazing. Next thing you know I'm at the gym doing cardio and free weights. The thing about the push ups and planks was that it increased my core strength without harming my lower back as sit ups would have done. Find what works for you and keep it up. Step 5: Last and final word of advice. Once you figure out how to rid yourself and your life of pain and the depression that comes with giving up, live every day like it was your last. Never take for granted the small things and enjoy those pain free moments. Be patient with others that may be in as much pain as you once were and help those that need some support. That's all I have for today. I would like to say that I am all better now and living pain free once again, but that would be a lie. The difference today is I know that I can be better it will just take time and a few good treatments. On that note, I had my husband help me massage and do acupuncture on myself last night so that I can walk better today. I also set up an appointment this week to get an acupuncture and massage treatment from people I trust. I'm already walking better and in less pain. By the end of the week I expect to be back to the gym and up for any activity I choose. Okay maybe not every activity, but I'm working on it. Wish me luck.
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